Page 128 of Still Love You

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Willow

What am I doing? I came here to break up with Silas and now I'm in his arms, lying in his truck, looking up at the stars. This is wrong. It feels right, but I don't act on feelings. I act on facts. And the facts tell me I shouldn't be with Silas.

"We have to go." I move his arm off me and stand up.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I need you to take me home." I jump over the side of the truck and get in the front seat and wait for him.

"What just happened?" he asks as he gets in the truck.

"I told you. I need to go home."

"Willow." He holds onto my wrist as I click my seatbelt in place. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I can't keep doing this to you."

"Doing what? Being friends with me?"

"This relationship. You know it's more than a friendship. We have too much history for it to be just a friendship. It's too hard to be friends with someone you...love."

"If you love me, then don't break up with me."

"It's not that simple."

"It IS that simple."

"Trent was right. If we keep this going, I'll end up hurting you again. I'm sorry, Silas, but I can't do this unless I'm committed to you. And right now, I can't commit to anything. I'm too lost. Too confused."

"Which is why you need me now more than ever. And as for Trent, are you seriously taking dating advice from someone whose idea of dating is a string of one-night stands?"

"I know, and I normally wouldn't listen to him, but in this case he was right. I'm not going to repeat the past."

"Willow, look at me." When I do, he says, "I'd rather risk getting hurt than lose you completely. I'm just asking for this summer. If at the end of August, you decide you don't want this, then we'll go our separate ways. But until then, just give us a chance. I can handle whatever happens. I'm not going to fall apart if you break up with me."

I look away from him. "I'm sorry, but I can't do it."

He waits for a moment, then starts the truck and drives off. We ride in silence until we get to my house.

"I don't need help getting out," I say, when I see him undoing his seatbelt.

"I'm still walking you to the door."

I step out of the truck and he walks with me to the house.

"Goodnight," I say.

He looks at me, pausing before saying, "Goodnight."

I go inside and watch out the front window as he drives away. He didn't seem angry or even sad. I don't get it. Is he just accepting this is over? That easily? Even I can't accept it. I didn't want to let him go, but I don't have a choice. I have to get myself together and figure out what I'm going to do before I even think about letting Silas back in my life.

The next day, I don't see or hear from Silas. I miss him so much. I tell myself that empty feeling in my heart will go away but I know it's a lie. For two years I tried to get over him, but the emptiness remained.

My phone rings and I smile when I see it's Lilly calling. "Hey, Lilly. How's your summer going?"

"Great, although I miss Reed."

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