Page 102 of Still Love You

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all. It would bother me to have a plan."

"But a plan gives you direction. If you don't have direction, you're just floundering, wondering what to do next."

"I'm not floundering. I'm finding myself. Discovering what I like and what I don't like. If you're locked into a plan, you'll never give herself the option to find out what you really want in life. You're trapped, going down a road that may not be right for you. And if you veer off the plan, you risk feeling like a failure."

I'm saying all this for Willow's benefit because I know this path she's headed down isn't right for her, and from some of the things she's said, I think she's starting to realize that. She just refuses to accept it. Once she sets her mind on something, she's so determined to see it through to completion that she has a hard time stepping back and figuring out if she really wants to keep doing it.

Willow's quiet, lost in her thoughts, so I leave her alone and gaze up at the sky. Now the stars look like a house with people around it. The four big stars form the house and the smaller stars look like a family; parents and a couple kids. I wonder why I'm seeing that. Is it because I'm thinking about marrying Willow? Having kids with her? I've never even thought about kids. That's so far into the future that my mind doesn't even go there. I close my eyes and open them and see the truck again, with Willow and me inside it.

"I still think you should be an artist," she says, flipping on her back to look up at the sky. "Maybe a graphic designer."

"Huh. That's not a bad idea, actually. Maybe I'll forget business and go into graphic design."

"Really? I changed your mind just like that?"

"Maybe. I'm definitely going to look into it." I look at her. "You see what happens when you're not stuck following a plan? You can change your mind whenever you want. Try different things. If you don't like something, you can do something else."

"I wish I could do that."

"You can do that. You can do whatever you want."

She turns on her side and snuggles up against me. "I need a quick nap."

"We've barely slept. We should take more than a quick nap."

"Goodnight." She kisses me, then lays her head on my chest and we fall asleep.

I wake up to drops of rain falling on my face. I open my eyes and see dark clouds above us.

"Willow, get up." I kiss her head, which is in the crook of my arm.

She rubs her eyes. "Silas, you're spitting when you talk."

"I'm not spitting. It's raindrops. We need to get in the truck. It's going to start pouring any minute."

She looks up. "Those clouds are really dark."

"Yeah, let's go." I kick the blankets off us.

"Wait." She grabs my arm.

"What?"

"Let's do it."

"Do what?"

"Let's have sex."

"In the rain?"

She smiles really wide. "I've always wanted to do it in the rain. Is that crazy?"

"Who the hell cares? Crazy is good."

The rain's getting heavier but it's a warm, steady rain.

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