Page 80 of Always Us

“No. I don’t want to. And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. They’ll all be there. I don’t want to be around them.” I’m referring to the members. Again, she gets it and doesn’t ask me more about it.

“Garret, you should get some sleep.”

“Yeah.” I want to talk to her but I’m so out of it I don’t have anything to say. I’m still in shock over what just happened. “Goodnight. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I fall asleep shortly after we hang up. I wake up at eight when I hear my dad in the hall. It sounds like he went into Lilly’s room. I don’t know how she’s going to react to the news. My grandfather pretty much ignored her. He wasn’t comfortable around kids. So maybe she won’t be that upset.

I turn on the TV in my room and flip through until I see his photo. It’s on one of the cable news channels. I up the volume. “…believed to have suffered complications from the stroke he had last week. Kensington had been in a coma following the stroke and never regained consciousness. Holton Kensington was 78 and is survived by his wife, Eleanor, his son, Pearce, and two grandchildren.”

I click through to another channel and see the news of his death scrolling on the bottom of the screen with all the other news of the day. It’s just like when Royce was killed. The world is led to believe whatever the organization tells them to. Whatever story they feed the media.

“Garret?” I hear my dad’s voice at my door.

“Yeah, come in.”

He walks in looking like he’s going to work. He’s in a dark suit, crisp white shirt, and blue tie. His eyes are heavy and his face looks tired. I’m sure he didn’t sleep last night. He had too much to do. Take care of the body. Get the fake story to the media. Deal with my grandmother.

He comes over and sits at the end of the bed. “I just spoke with Lilly and told her the news. I need you to spend some time with her. She wasn’t close to her grandfather but she’s still sad. She doesn’t understand death and I don’t have time to answer all her questions. I’m meeting with reporters in an hour and I need to get to the office to prepare. I don’t know what time I’ll be back, so if you could just make sure she’s not alone.”

“Yeah, I’ll stay with her. Is Katherine coming back?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Technically, we have to continue to live as a married couple until the members finalize the approval of our divorce.”

“When’s that going to happen?”

“Probably in a week or two. But I spoke with Katherine this morning and we agreed, for Lilly’s sake, it would be best if Katherine lived here until the end of the year. Lilly needs to deal with her grandfather’s death before we tell her about the divorce.”

“How is Grandmother?”

“I’m not sure. It’s hard to tell with her. She didn’t say much when she found out. She and my father had a difficult marriage, but she was with him for many years so it’ll be an adjustment for her to live on her own.”

“Do you know when the funeral’s going to be?”

“Next Thursday. But you can’t be there, Garret.”

“I know.”

“The public already knows you’ve been estranged from your grandfather since last spring so it shouldn’t be that surprising if you don’t show up at his funeral. I’m sure the media will spin it that way and that’s fine. Actually it’s good. People will be angry that you didn’t show up, which will spur negative comments about you online. We need that after that PR company pulled that stunt trying to fix your image.” He stands up. “I need to go.”

“Dad, wait.” I meet him at the door. “Thank you. For what you did.”

He slowly nods. He looks so tired, so stressed, so beaten down. God, I feel bad for him. I knew he had a shitty life, growing up with my grandfather, but I never really knew how bad it was until I saw for myself how horrible a man my grandfather was.

I hug him. “I love you, Dad.”

He gives me a tight squeeze. “I love you, too, son.”

After he leaves, I go down to Lilly’s room. She’s curled up on her bed, holding her stuffed panda bear.

I sit next to her. “Lilly, I’m here.”

She sits up and climbs on my lap and hugs me.

“Grandpa’s gone.” Her voice is sad and quiet.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

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