Page 73 of Always Us

We remain on the phone for hours. I don’t want to hang up and neither does she. We find a movie on TV and watch it together, but she doesn’t fall asleep like she normally does during movies. She only does that when I’m there and we’re snuggled up on the couch together. She said she won’t sleep at all tonight, with me gone and two strange guys just outside the door. I won’t sleep either. I’ll be awake, worrying about her and missing her and trying to find a way to fix this.

Around eleven, we say goodbye and hang up. I lie on the bed staring up at the ceiling, replaying that conversation I had with my grandfather. I can still see that look on his face, challenging me to do something. I hear him telling me I’m weak. Part of me feels like I am. I’m lying here, not doing anything, knowing he’s going to kill Jade. My wife. The person I love more than anything. So why aren’t I doing something?

Kill or be killed. William said those words when we were at Grace’s house and I haven’t forgotten them. Before we left that day, I asked him why he hired someone like Walt to work for him. I knew Walt freelanced for the organization, which means he’s killed people, probably lots of people. William explained that he has lots of enemies and that’s why he needs someone like Walt. Someone who isn’t afraid to take out the enemy. William said that for people like him and my dad, sometimes it’s kill or be killed.

Kill or be killed. Sometimes that’s your only choice. I feel like it’s the only one I have left. I kill my grandfather. Or he kills Jade.

This only ends when one of them dies. And it sure as hell isn’t going to be Jade.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

18

GARRET

I bolt up from the bed, put my coat on, grab my keys, and burst out the door. I get in the car and speed down the road, not stopping until I reach my house. My dad changed the code on the gate but the security guy knows me and lets me in. He must assume my dad knew I was coming because he doesn’t act surprised. But he does make a comment about my getting there so late. I tell him my plane was delayed.

I go in the house, which is dimly lit by the sconces that line the halls. We always keep them on at night, as well as the small lamp that sits on the table in the foyer.

I walk up the stairs and sneak down the hall to my room. I go to my closet and take out the small metal safe. I punch in the code and open the safe and pull out my gun. I take the bullets and load the gun, my hand shaking a little.

I look at the loaded gun in my hand. I don’t know if I can do this. But I have to. If I don’t, he’ll kill Jade.

I make sure I clicked the safety on the gun, then quietly walk out of my room, back down the hall, and down the stairs.

“Garret?” It’s my dad. I turn my head and see him walking toward me from the living room. He’s still in his suit pants and white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up a little. He has on a tie, but it’s loosened a bit.

“I have to go.” I walk to the foyer, heading to the door, but my dad steps in front of me.

“What are you doing here?”

I don’t answer him. I can’t come up with a lie. I’m too out of it to think. And I’m shaking. Why am I shaking? Shit. My grandfather’s right. I am weak. I should be able to do this. I should storm past my dad, get in the car, and go shoot the man who plans to kill my wife.

My dad glances down at my hand and sees the gun.

“Garret, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I can’t answer him. I can’t look at him. So I stand there, my gaze on the tile floor.

He reaches down and slowly takes the gun from my hand.

“Son, this isn’t you.” He says it softly.

I hear him move beside me and set the gun down on the table.

He comes back in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders. “Garret, look at me.”

I lift my head and see his face. He doesn’t look angry. He looks concerned.

“Dad, I didn’t know what else to do.”

He pulls me into him, his arms wrapped around me. “I know. I understand.”

And he does. This is like him and my mom all over again. I don’t know all that happened back then, but I know my dad always worried my grandfather might do something to hurt my mom. And in the end, he did.

My dad grips my shoulders, his eyes on mine. “Listen to me. I know you’re desperate to do something, but this isn’t the answer. This is not you, Garret. You’re not a murderer. You don’t hurt people. I may not have been the best father to you, but I did everything in my power to keep you from becoming me. Or him. And I will not let you do it now.”

“He challenged me to do it. I went there and I almost attacked him with my bare hands. And he waited for me to do it. And when I didn’t, he said I was weak.”

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