Page 29 of Always Us

“I’m not going to the funeral.”

“You’re not?”

Jade’s staring at me like she can’t figure this out. Like she thinks I should be crying or something. But right now, I’m not able to put on a show and pretend that I’m sad. Because I’m not sad. Not even a little.

“Garret, if he doesn’t make it, you have to go to the funeral.”

“Why? You didn’t go to your grandfather’s funeral.”

Shit. I didn’t mean to say that. My mind’s all over the place right now and I’m not thinking straight.

Jade looks down at the floor.

I pull her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Jade. I never should’ve said that. I know you wanted to be at Arlin’s funeral. Dammit. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She wipes her eyes and looks up at me. “I know you’re upset. What can I do?”

“Just give me a minute to talk to my dad.”

She nods. “Okay.”

She leaves, closing the door behind her. I call my dad. After the third ring, he picks up.

“Garret, I have some news,” he says.

“Yeah, I heard. When did you find out?”

“Earlier this morning.”

“And you couldn’t fucking call me?”

He’s quiet, and I realize I need to calm down. I don’t know how my dad’s feeling about this and I need to at least consider he might be sad.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just didn’t like hearing about this on the news.”

“I know. And I should’ve called earlier. I was at the hospital and then things got out of control with the media and—well, I should’ve called. I’m sorry about that.”

“So someone found him?”

“Yes. The housekeeper went in to clean and she found him on the floor in the living room.”

“Where was Grandmother?”

“At home, in Connecticut. But now she’s here in New York, staying with me at the apartment.”

“How is she doing?”

“She’s dealing with it. My mother isn’t one to show emotion. You know that.”

“How about you? Are you okay?”

“Yes.” There’s this odd moment of silence and then, “He’s not expected to recover, Garret.”

More silence. Dead silence.

My family uses silence like other people use words. Silence is a form of communication to us. And I think my dad is telling me something with his silence.

A cold chill runs through me as I consider what the silence means.

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