Page 19 of Always Us

She takes a sip of the water that was left for her on the podium, then continues. “When I was 12, I decided to try my mom’s vodka. It was out on the kitchen counter and my mom didn’t care if I drank it. She was too drunk to care. But as I held the bottle up to my mouth, I realized I had a choice. If I took a drink, it would lead to another, and another after that, and soon I’d be her. I’d be my mom. And it wouldn’t be her fault. It would be mine. I made a choice that day. Not just with the vodka, but with my life. I decided I didn’t want to be my mom and I didn’t want to use her as an excuse for having a crappy life. Although that would’ve been a lot easier. It would’ve been easy to drop out of school, become an alcoholic, do drugs, be homeless, and blame it all on my mom. But why would I do that? Why would I give her all that power? This is my life. Not hers. And I wanted something better. I wanted to have a real life. A real job. I didn’t want to struggle. I wanted a different road than she took. And the only way I could get there was by making choices. Alcohol? Drugs? I had opportunities for all that. But I chose not to go down that road, because although that might’ve made my teen years more fun or more exciting or would’ve made me more popular, that road would’ve led me to a dead end. And it literally could’ve been a dead end, because sometimes that road leads to death. Like it did for my mom. She died. She overdosed on drugs and alcohol. And I found her. Dead. On the bathroom floor. Two days before my 16th birthday.”

Jade’s voice is shaky, but not from nerves this time. Now it’s from emotion. Pure, raw emotion. She’s putting it all out there. All of it. And I’m so damn proud of her. And fucking amazed she’s able to do this. I actually have chills just listening to her speak. She’s braver and stronger than anyone I know or will ever meet. I could never do what she’s doing right now. I don’t know anyone who could.

I glance over at Frank. He’s got tears streaming down his face. Big, messy tears, but he’s smiling.

Jade continues to tell her story. She owns the room. Nobody can take their eyes off her. Nobody’s checking their phone. I don’t even notice anyone moving. Not even a leg cross. They just listen, taking in each word.

After 30 minutes, I see Jade glance at her watch. Her time is up. She looks back at the young women in the audience and says, “I have an amazing life now. I’m in college. I have a great family and great friends. And I have a husband who I love more than anything in this world.” She looks back at me and smiles, then directs her focus back to the women. “And it all started with one good choice that led to another. The choices weren’t always easy. Sometimes I wanted to say screw it and give up. But I didn’t, because after that first good choice, I saw a flicker of light from that dark hole I was in. And the more good choices I made, the more light I saw. And now all I see is light.” She smiles. “Thank you for your time.”

She walks off the stage, and as she does, everyone stands up and starts clapping so loud it fills the entire room. I’m clapping so hard my hands hurt.

That was incredible. Jade was incredible.

I go out of the auditorium to the hallway and see her there.

“Did I do okay?” she asks.

I hug her. “You did more than okay. You were freaking amazing. Words can’t describe it. I had chills.”

She pulls away. “You did? Really?”

“Yes, Jade. Really.” I kiss her. “I think everyone did.”

Jade notices Frank behind me. “Frank, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m just so proud of you, Jade.” He hugs her really tight, then lets her go and dries his face with his hand.

I put my arm around her. “When did you decide to change your speech?”

“When you told me to think about my audience and not myself. You were right. I needed to think about them, not me.”

“When did you write all that stuff?”

“I didn’t. I just jotted down some ideas for what I wanted to say and that was it.”

“You didn’t practice that?”

“No. I just talked.”

“Jade, it sounded like you spent weeks practicing that. You didn’t even stumble on your words.”

“I know. It was weird. I just pretended I was talking to my old self. And as soon as I did that, the words just came out.”

Jade’s teacher comes out the stage door and goes up to Jade. “The women have asked if you’d be willing to go back in there and answer some of their questions.”

“Isn’t there another speaker now?”

“Yes, but she said she doesn’t mind if we delay her speech. In fact she was so impressed with you, she’d like you to speak at a youth conference next March in San Francisco.”

“She does?”

He motions to the auditorium. “Would you be willing to go back in there? Everyone is asking for you.”

“Um, sure.” She turns to Frank and me. “Do you guys mind waiting?”

I steer her to the door. “Just get in there, Jade. Take all the time you need.”

She spends the next half hour answering questions. And she could’ve stayed even longer but they needed to move the schedule along. Before we left, the woman who wanted Jade to speak at that youth conference gave Jade her business card and asked her to call her. She told Jade she’d get a speaker’s fee of $2000. Jade just about passed out when she heard that. She didn’t know people got paid for this stuff. I didn’t tell her, but my dad gets paid $50,000 for giving a speech at a business conference, sometimes more. Speakers can make a lot of money.

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