Page 18 of Always Us

“They want you back there while they do the introductions.”

“Crap. I’m not ready.”

I face her toward me, my hands on her upper arms. “You’re ready, Jade. You’ve practiced this a million times. Just relax. And remember, it’s about the audience. Think of the audience.”

She nods.

I hug her. “I love you.”

I let her go, then Frank wishes her luck and she goes through the side door that leads to the stage.

Frank smiles. “She’ll do fine.”

I sit next to him on the bench. “So how have you been, Frank? We haven’t talked much.”

“I’m doing well. It’s good to finally be settled in the house. The move was more work than I thought it would be. But Karen helped a lot.” He pauses, then says, “Has Jade said anything about Karen?”

“She said she likes her. Other than that, she hasn’t said much.” I smile at him. “Why do you ask? Are you thinking of marrying this woman, Frank?”

“Not anytime soon, but it could happen.” He glances at his watch, then back at me. “But don’t tell Jade that. I want her to get to know Karen first. If things get more serious between Karen and me, I’ll tell Jade myself.”

“Fair enough.” Another secret I have to keep from Jade. Although I think she already knows Frank and Karen are serious enough that they might get married someday.

“How’s Jade’s therapy going?” Frank asks.

“She doesn’t talk about it much. But she likes her counselor.”

“I’m glad. If Jade can deal with all the issues from her past, it’ll really make a difference in her life.”

“It’s already making a difference. Jade’s starting to open up to me more and talk about stuff she wouldn’t talk to me about before.”

“That’s good to hear.” Frank stands up. “We should go inside. They’ll be starting soon.”

The auditorium is huge, so with the 50 or so people in here, it almost looks empty. Everyone’s sitting up front but Frank and I sit in the back. We don’t want to make Jade even more nervous.

The program starts and some lady talks about the purpose of this event. I’m so tired I’m not really listening, but then I hear her introduce Jade and I pay attention again.

Jade comes out on the stage and goes up to the podium. She looks beautiful up there, in her navy skirt and white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up a little. Her hair is down, hanging in soft waves, and she has just a touch of makeup on. She looks much more sophisticated than when I first met her. Back then, she looked more like a high school kid. Now she looks like a young woman. She’s grown up a lot this past year.

She begins speaking. Her voice is shaky and she stumbles on a few of her words. She stops mid-sentence and takes a breath.

You can do this, Jade. Just relax. I try to mentally send her the message.

She starts over from the beginning. “I’m here today to talk about—” She stops again.

Damn. This is bad. She was already nervous and now that she messed up, she’ll be even more nervous. I’m nervous just watching her there, standing at the podium, unable to speak.

The people in the front row start checking their phones, coughing, messing with their hair. A few of them start whispering to each other.

“You know what?” Jade says. “I had this formal speech planned with inspirational words like hopes and dreams and all that stuff, but I don’t think that’s what you want to hear.”

What is she doing? This is not what she practiced. But her words have everyone intrigued enough that their focus is back on the stage.

Jade continues. “I think what you want to hear is the truth. Because that’s what I would’ve wanted to hear back when I was struggling to figure out how to escape the hell that used to be my life. Hopes and dreams mean nothing when your life is hell. When you’re so far down that deep, dark hole that you no longer believe light even exists. When I was in that place, you know what I would’ve wanted someone to tell me?”

She pauses. The room is completely silent. All attention is on Jade.

“I would’ve wanted them to tell me that sometimes life sucks. Sometimes it’s lonely. Sometimes it hurts so bad you feel like you can’t go on. And it’s not fair. It’s not fair that some people have perfect lives and other people have to suffer. It’s not fair that some people are born to drug-addicted, abusive, alcoholic parents while other people are born into loving homes. I was one of those unlucky people born into a home with a drug-addicted, abusive, alcoholic parent. It sucked. And it was lonely. And I felt like I was trapped in a deep, dark hole with no light. I thought there was no way out.” She stops to breathe. “But there is a way out. You know what gets you out of the darkness?” She pauses again. “Choices. You may not think you have any. You may only see one road ahead of you, a road that leads nowhere. But the truth is, there are many roads and they all start with choices.”

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