Page 120 of Always Us

I pull on him to sit down with me. He has a blanket spread out over the ground with the picnic basket and cooler holding it down. The other blankets I brought are stacked up next to us. I take one and put it over my legs because the breeze is chilly on my bare skin. I probably should’ve worn jeans instead of shorts.

“Garret, what are you going to do when we have kids? They’ll want to run to the edge just like me.”

He doesn’t react to the kid comment. I make these comments all the time now. I have for the past month so he’s used it. He doesn’t read anything into it because he assumes I’m just saying it hypothetically.

“If we had kids,” he says, “I’d have to build a ten foot fence. Actually, a fence isn’t sturdy enough. I’d need a solid wall.”

I laugh. “That would ruin the view, which is the whole purpose of living here.”

“I don’t care. I’m not gonna risk having our kid fall off the edge of a cliff. There would have to be a solid wall all along there.” He points to the edge, moving his hand left to right.

I sit cross-legged and hold his hand and look at him. “Then I guess you better add that to the house plan.”

He doesn’t react. I’m sure he thinks I’m just talking hypothetically again.

“It can wait. We don’t need to build it when we build the house. Like you said, we don’t want to ruin the view.”

“We need to put something there. Maybe not a solid wall, but something to keep our kids safe.” I hold his other hand and wait for him to look me in the eye. “Because we’re having kids, Garret. Not now, but someday.”

He looks like he doesn’t believe me, like he thinks I’m joking. But when he sees the serious expression on my face, he says, “Jade, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I made a decision. I want us to have kids. Well, I’d like to start with just one and see how it goes.”

His cautiously smiles. “Are you serious?”

I nod. “Yeah. I’ve thought about this a lot. And I’ve decided this is what I want.” I smile. “I think you want that too, right?”

A huge smile fills his face. “You know I do. Get over here.” He pulls me into his arms.

“I know I still have issues to work through and I’m not saying I’ll be a perfect mom, but I’ll be the best mom I possibly can.”

“You’ll be a great mom, Jade. I know you will.”

“I’m still scared. But you’ll help, right? I mean, you won’t be one of those dads who’s never around, right?”

“Of course not. I promise, I will do as much as I can to help.”

“Good, because I’m going to need it. I’m already feeling overwhelmed just thinking about having kids, even though it’s still a ways off in the future.”

He pulls back a little to look at me. “How far in the future? Do you have a timeline in mind?”

“Well, I thought we should talk about that together. But I don’t want to be too old. I was thinking maybe when we’re 25? Is that too soon?”

“No, it’s perfect.” His huge smile remains. “That’s what I was thinking too. We’ll be done with school, our careers will be somewhat started, and the house will be built by then.”

“But I think we should start trying when we’re 24 so that we have it when we’re 25. It could take a while to get pregnant and then you have to wait nine months, so we may not even have one until we’re 26.”

He brings me in for a kiss. “Then we’ll start working on it the night of my 24th birthday.”

I smile. “I didn’t mean we had to do that, but—”

“I know what you meant.” He kisses me again and lays me down on the blanket, his hand slipping under my shirt.

I break from the kiss and laugh. “We’re not starting right now, Garret. I said 24, not 20.”

“I’m just practicing,” he says, still kissing me. “Gotta keep my skills up in this area.”

I laugh again and push him back. “We’ll practice later. I’m not done talking yet.”

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