Page 116 of Always Us

“How much of the story does Sadie know?”

“She knows about the rape, but she doesn’t know Royce tried to kill Jade. And of course, Sadie didn’t believe us about the rape. She blamed Jade’s mom for the whole thing. Before she left, she told Jade not to tell anyone about this, and that she never wanted to see Jade again. So yeah, Sadie has pretty much become Victoria. Total bitch.”

“I never understood why you dated Sadie.”

“She didn’t used to be that way. Plus, she’s hot. The problem is, she knows it.”

My dad shakes his head. “I’m glad you didn’t end up choosing a woman based solely on looks.”

“Jade’s way hotter than Sadie. So I got lucky. I found someone I love who’s also the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

He nods, smiling. “I felt the same way about your mother.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but are you still seeing that woman from DC?”

“No. That ended a long time ago. I’m not seeing anyone right now. I’m trying to spend my free time with Lilly, especially now that her mother’s never around.”

My phone rings. It’s Jade.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” I tell her. “The sled is in the gardening shed. I’ll be there soon.” I put my phone away as I stand up. “You want to go sledding, Dad?”

“Sure.” He closes his laptop. “Although I probably won’t fit on the sled.”

“You’re seriously going sledding? I was kidding. I didn’t expect you to say yes.”

“I want to spend time with my children.” He hangs his arm off my shoulder as we walk out of the office. “I haven’t been sledding since you were a kid. Remember when I took you to that hill by our old house? That was a steep hill. I didn’t think you’d go down it.”

“I loved that hill. You could really get some speed going on that thing.”

We get our coats and head out back. Jade and Lilly have a small snowman already built. I check it out while my dad gets the sled. Lilly’s shocked when she sees my dad out there. I’m a little shocked myself. He keeps surprising me with this stuff. I keep thinking that one day he’ll return to the cold, uncaring father he was during my teen years. But instead, he’s becoming more and more like the dad I knew as a kid. And if Katherine’s out of the picture, I think he’ll become even more like that dad.

The four of us go out to the small hill that Jade and I took Lilly sledding on last year, but my dad thinks it’s lame. He’s right. It sucks. So we take the sled and pile into his SUV and head to a real sledding hill. Jade keeps giving me this look like she can’t figure my dad out. I just smile and kiss her and tell her to go with it.

On the way to the sledding hill, my dad stops at the store and gets three more sleds so we each have one. We go to the same park Jade and I went to last year. It has a big, steep hill that’s great for sledding. Lilly’s too scared to go down it by herself so my dad goes with her. It’s good he’s doing this. It helps take her mind off her grandfather being gone. She’s smiling and laughing as the sled hits some bumps on the hill. It reminds me of myself at her age, out sledding with my dad.

We stay there all afternoon, then go home and change into dry clothes. My dad orders pizza and asks Charles to join us for dinner. After Lilly goes to bed, my dad, Jade, Charles, and I play poker at the kitchen table.

I hate to admit it, but I almost forgot the reason why I’m here. We’re all having such a good time that we’re not even thinking about my grandfather. Is that bad? Maybe. But like I told Jade after Sadie left the other night, you can’t choose your relatives, and just because you’re related doesn’t mean you have to like them. And I didn’t like my grandfather. And after I found out what he’d done, and what he planned to do, I hated him.

My dad and I tried for years to please him, hoping that one day he might actually give a shit about us, but he never did. He wanted us to suffer. He didn’t want us to be happy. So I don’t feel guilty about having fun today instead of mourning his death. I don’t think my dad does either.

I don’t bother asking my dad about my grandmother. She knows I’m leaving tomorrow and apparently has no interest in saying goodbye to her grandson. I don’t understand her. Sometimes, she’s warm and caring, like she is with Lilly, and sometimes she’s cold and distant.

“Maybe we could shower in the morning,” Jade says as she closes the door to my room and locks it. We just came upstairs after finishing our last poker game.

“It already is morning.” I unbutton her shirt as I kiss her. Playing poker with her got me turned on. I don’t know if it’s because she’s so competitive, or that she’s good at it, or just the fact that I find it sexy when a girl plays poker. But I’m all fired up and not the least bit tired.

“It’s one-fifteen. We should get to sleep.”

“Or we could take a shower.” I slip her shirt down over her arms, letting it drop to the floor. “Hot steam.” I kiss her neck. “Wet skin. My warm hands all over your body.” She tilts her head to the side and closes her eyes as my lips move up her neck to her ear. “You sure you wanna wait?”

She smiles. “I swear, someday I’ll say no to you. Just not tonight.”

I strip the rest of her and haul her off to the shower.

And then, a half hour later, we finally go to sleep.

In the morning, as we’re packing up to leave, Sean calls. I haven’t talked to him for days. Every time I call him his phone goes straight to voicemail. He’s in LA now and working at his new job.

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