Page 27 of Lilly

That all seems so long ago.

"Being here," I say, "seeing everything again...brings back so many memories of our old life."

"Is it hard for you?" she softly asks. "Seeing those things again?"

"Yes," I say honestly. "That was such a different time in our lives."

"We were different people back then."

It's true. I was a man living a lie, deceiving my wife, pretending to be someone I wasn't. And Rachel was the eternal optimist, only seeing the good in people, believing the world was a better place than it really is.

Now all that has changed. Rachel knows the real me. She knows what I've done. She knows I lied to her. But thankfully, she's forgiven me, and accepted me for who I am. As for her? She now believes what I've known for a very long time. That some people are just pure evil. You can't save them or change them or fix them. And realizing that has changed how she views the world.

So yes, the people we were when we lived here years ago are for the most part gone, but the memories remain.

"I wish you were here," I tell her.

"Pearce, you know I couldn't—"

"Yes. I understand, but maybe some other time we could come back here. Drive by the old house. Eat at the diner you and Garret liked so well."

"Yes, we should do that."

"I'm at the restaurant now so I suppose I should say goodbye. I'll call you in the morning before I leave."

"Could you call me later tonight? After dinner?"

"Of course. Is there something we need to discuss?"

"No. I just...I just need to hear your voice. I'm worried, Pearce. I'm so worried about you going back there."

"I'll be fine. As I said, it's just a meeting."

"I'm worried what happens after the meeting."

"Rachel, nothing is going to—"

"Will you please just call me?"

"Yes. I will call you and we will talk as long as you'd like."

She sniffles. "I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

These past couple weeks have been hard on her, and Garret and Jade. They've all been worried about this meeting and the fallout that could occur from me being around these people again. We've all been acting on edge, so I understand why Lilly suspects something's going on. But I still have no plans to tell her the truth. If at all possible, I want her to live her life without ever knowing the organization exists.

When I get to my hotel, I call Rachel again and we remain on the phone until almost midnight, sometimes talking, sometimes not. It isn't about talking. It's about feeling connected, because right now, we feel very far apart.

Since being reunited, Rachel and I haven't spent more than a day without each other. When I travel for speeches she almost always comes with me. To some people it may seem odd that we're together so much but if they'd been through what we have, they'd understand. We lost each other once, but we won't let it happen again. That's another reason I wanted her to be with Garret while I'm gone. I have this constant fear that someone will take her from me, but if Garret is with her, I know she'll be fine.

The next morning, I drive to the mansion where the meeting is being held. They don't know I'm coming, which is against proper etiquette and will upset the older members but I didn't want them knowing ahead of time. If they did, they might've tried to change the meeting agenda. I have a history of speaking my mind and initiating discussions, so if they knew there was something I might disagree with on the agenda, there's a chance they'd remove it.

The majority of my fellow members don't bother speaking up at meetings, even when they disagree with something. It's just easier to go along with it. Besides, they know whatever's decided can be vetoed by the upper level members, so why bother discussing it? Speaking out gets you labeled as a trouble maker, a label I was given long ago and still carry to this day, which is probably why they've allowed me to keep my distance all these years.

When I pull up to the gate, the guard sees I'm driving a rental car and seems alarmed. Members are given black Mercedes equipped with bulletproof glass and other safety features, so the rented black Lexus I'm driving indicates I'm an outsider who shouldn't be here.

"Call whoever you need to," I tell the guard, who's already on his phone. There's a camera at the gate, and I look directly at it so the person viewing it will know it's me.

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