Page 148 of More To Us

"You still play music."

"Yeah. I do. But I'm not famous. Or rich. And I'm okay with that. My dream changed."

"To what? What's your dream now?"

"To keep doing what I'm doing. Working construction during the day and playing music at night. I like my life. I wouldn't change it. Even if I was able to be a rich and famous musician, I don't think I'd like that life. It's just not me. I like what I'm doing now. I like living here. I like being close to my family. Some people would say I'm giving up on my dream, but that's bullshit. I've just changed my dream, because I know what I want. But I couldn't figure that out until I stopped chasing after something that was never going to happen. Something that wasn't right for me but that I held onto because I thought letting it go was giving up. But it's not giving up, Kira. It's not."

She sniffles. "I don't know what I am without gymnastics."

"I thought the same thing with my music. For years I let it define me. But now I realize I'm more than that. And so are you. You're more than a gymnast. You have other talents. Other interests. You can still love gymnastics and I can still love music but that doesn't have to be all there is. There's more to us than that. A lot more."

"I can't imagine my future without gymnastics."

"But you'll figure it out. Once you let go of this need to compete again, you'll see all these other possibilities you wouldn't let yourself see before."

"Like what?"

"Like what you want to major in. What you want to do with your life. There are so many possibilities, Kira. You just have to let yourself see them, and when you do, you'll be able to figure out what you want to do with your life. You'll come up with a new dream."

"I don't know what that would be. I don't even have a clue."

I smile. "You could dream of marrying Austin Wheeler someday."

"What?" she asks, sounding both shocked and confused.

I shrug. "I know. A lot of girls have that dream so it's kind of a stretch, but you've gotten closer to it than anyone else, so you never know. It could happen."

She laughs. "Okay. I'll add that to my dream list, but for way off in the future."

"Agreed." I kiss her cheek.

She looks at me, her face serious now. "I love you." She glances down. "I know I shouldn't say that because we're not dating but—"

"Hey." I lift her chin up and our eyes meet. "I love you too. Dating or not, I still love you."

"Do you think we'll ever be a couple again?"

"I still think of you as my girlfriend, if that answers your question."

"Then can we try again? Because I miss you. I miss you so much. And not just as a friend. I miss us. I miss being able to hug you and kiss you and sleep next to you. I want to be able to do those things again. I know I hurt you and lied to you, but if you could just give me a chance..."

"Yes." I smile at her.

"Yes, what?"

"Let's do it. Let's get back together."

Her eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah, but the deal still stands. You can't go back to killing yourself at the gym."

"I won't." She smiles. "I have a new dream. One that'll take some time to achieve."

"What is it?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

Does she mean marrying me? If so, she's right. That'll take some time. I'm not ready for marriage. But I am ready for a girlfriend, as long as that girl is Kira.

She reaches up and gives me a kiss, then lingers at my lips. "I've been wanting to do that for so long."

"Is there anything else you've been wanting to do?" I lay her down on the bed.

She just smiles.

And I make love to my girlfriend. Because that's who she is, and has always been, even when we were apart.

I was never able to let her go. My heart wouldn't let me. Because as the saying goes, the heart knows what it wants.

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