Page 132 of More To Us

"Those were her exact words."

He sets the bottle on the table. "Then why did she leave? Why did she make up that story? You're saying she's been living here in Chicago this whole time?"

"Yeah. She lived here all last summer."

"And you said she's a junior?"

"Yeah, but she's almost a senior because she takes summer classes." I try to remember what else I told him about her. I've mentioned her a few times, but just briefly. "She grew up in Michigan with Kira. They were both gymnasts until Amber got into cheerleading in high school and quit gymnastics. I told you all this, right?"

"Everything but the gymnastics and cheerleading. I didn't know she did that stuff. Makes sense. She had a killer body." He rubs his forehead. "Why couldn't she just tell me this? I mean, I don't understand the whole ruining a memory thing, but she still could've told me that. At least it would've been an explanation and I wouldn't have had to spend months searching for her."

"I told her all that. For what it's worth, she said she never meant to hurt you. She assumed you'd forgotten all about that night, until she heard your song. When she heard it, she still didn't want to talk to you. She was dating someone else. She's still dating him, but I don't know why. The two of them have zero chemistry." A thought pops in my head. "You know, maybe that's why she's dating him. Maybe she's purposely dating someone she has no chemistry with because it keeps her from getting too close to him."

"Why wouldn't she want to get close to him?"

"Because she's still hung up on you. I could tell by the way she talked about you. Maybe she's dating a guy like Matt because she's not ready to give her heart to someone else. She's not ready to let you go."

"There's nothing to let go. We're not together."

"But she wants that. I know she does. And I know you want it too."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know. Don't listen to me. I just broke up with my girlfriend. I obviously suck at relationships."

"You didn't do anything wrong. That was all Kira. And hey, I'm really sorry, man. I know how much you liked her, or...loved her."

I shrug it off like it's not a big deal, even though it is. "I'm too young to be in love so it's probably for the best. Just like it's probably best if you stay away from Amber."

"She really said it was the best night of her life?" He half-smiles.

"Those were her words."

"I guess it's good to know it wasn't just me."

"So you think you can move on now?"

"I've already moved on. I'm dating Allison."

Allison is the hot cheerleader he's been going out with the past couple weeks. She's his get-back-on-the-horse girl, meaning she's the first girl he's had sex with since his night with Amber. He needed to put an end to that dry spell, which he's done with Allison. That's pretty much all they do. I don't know if they've even gone on an actual date.

"That's not a real relationship," I tell him. "It's just sex."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"You're basically doing what Amber's doing. Going out with someone you know you'll never have an emotional attachment to because you're still emotionally attached to Amber."

"What are you, a psychologist now?"

"I'm just saying, I don't think you're over her. And I don't think she's over you."

"Yeah? So? She doesn't want me, so there isn't anything I can do."

"Do you still want her? Even after knowing what she did?"

"I don't know." He scrubs his hand through his hair. "I'd have to think about it. But the answer doesn't matter. We're obviously never going to be together."

We've talked enough. I can tell he needs time to think about what I've told him. And I need time to think about what happened with Kira earlier. Did I make the right decision? My head says I did, but my heart seems to disagree. It fucking hurts right now, and my body aches to be with her, not just in a sexual way, but just to be near her. To lie on the couch with her body molded into mine. To feel our hands threaded together.

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