Page 16 of More To Us

"And you had that with Dylan?"

"Yes." She closes her eyes, like she can still remember it. "I was at a house party just a few blocks from his campus. He came in the front door and I saw him across the room and our eyes locked, and it was like we just knew. He came over to me and asked my name. I could barely breathe my heart was beating so fast. That's how much I was attracted to him."

She just described how I felt when Austin approached me. Rapid heartbeat. Could barely breathe.

"And even though he's super hot," Amber continues, "it was more than his looks. It was something else drawing me to him. He felt it too. He was looking at me the same way I was looking at him. And he was breathing just as hard as I was. Then, out of the blue, he kissed me."

"After you just met him?"

"I know, it's crazy. I didn't even know his name and he kissed me. But just once, and then he backed away, like he shouldn't have done it, but he didn't apologize. And I didn't want him to. I wanted more. So I grabbed his shirt and yanked him toward me and kissed him back. And then it's like we both knew there was no going back. We had to finish this."

"So you knew nothing about the guy, but you still had sex with him."

"I know it wasn't the best decision, but I kept hearing that girl's speech in my head, telling me to do something different. Something completely out of my comfort zone. Something I always wanted to do but was too afraid to."

"And you didn't question it? Like not at all?"

"Of course I did! You know me. I'm always cautious when it comes to that stuff. That's why I'm dating Matt. He's the safe choice. Nice. Dependable. Predictable."

Boring, I think, but I don't say it.

"Okay, so you kissed him and then what? You went in a room?"

"We went upstairs, not sure what was going to happen. That's when I started questioning it, more out of safety concerns than anything else. But there was something about this guy. I felt safe with him. I'm not even sure why. It was just a gut feeling. Anyway, we ended up finding an open room and then he asked if I really wanted to do what we were about to do. He had this torn look on his face, like he wanted to but felt like he shouldn't. It made me want to do it all the more. I told him yes and then neither one of us hesitated from that point forward. Clothes went flying, and then the magic happened."

I laugh. "Magic? Seriously?"

She holds my arm, her eyes on mine. "Total magic. I'm not kidding. It was absolute perfection. Hot. Frantic. Pure passion. I'd never experienced anything like it."

I laugh again. "So it was good?"

"Good?" She lets go of my arm and falls back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "Good doesn't even begin to describe it. And unlike most guys, he didn't run off when we were done. In fact, he didn't want me to leave so we just stayed there in that room, and that's when he started to tell me more about himself but I told him I didn't want to know. That it was just a one-time thing and that I'd just graduated and was moving to New York the next day."

"You lied to him?"

"I had to. I didn't want him trying to date me."

"Why not?" I yank on her arm until she sits up. "You meet a guy you have instant chemistry with, you have amazing sex, and then you decide you never want to see him again?"

"Yes," she says simply.

I roll my eyes. "You make no sense. This is just like when we had that homemade ice cream at the fair and then you refused to eat it again. I still don't understand that."

"Because it's never as good as the first time. I explained this to you a million times. When you experience pure perfection, like that ice cream, or sex with Dylan, experiencing it again will just ruin it. The second time is never as good as the first, and it just gets worse from there."

I shake my head. "You're completely crazy."

"I'm not. You just haven't experienced what I'm talking about so you can't relate."

"Actually I can," I mutter. "And I'd do anything to experience it again."

"Kira." She frowns. "I'm sorry."

She knows I'm not talking about a guy, but about going to nationals. That was the best experience of my life. My scores weren't great, but just being there was perfection for me. I never thought I'd make it that far, so being there, competing alongside some of the greatest gymnasts in the world, was sheer perfection.

Amber has that sorrowful look on her face that she gets whenever this topic comes up, like she's mourning the death of my gymnastics career. But it's not dead. It's not ending.

I don't want to talk about it, so I steer the conversation back to her and Dylan. "So you lied and told Dylan you were moving away and that you'd never see him again."

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