Page 139 of More To Us

"But you forgave her," I say.

"Only because I realized it wasn't about me. She wasn't hiding the truth from me because she didn't trust me enough to tell me. She hid it because she didn't want me feeling sorry for her or treating her differently. And she wasn't ready to accept that her family was gone. By making up those stories about them, it was almost like they were still here. So I understood why she did it, but I needed her to deal with it before we could move forward. I know that's not the same as you and Austin, but I told you that story because I know how hard it is to give something up. Something you love. Or something you want more than anything. For Callie, she wanted her family back so badly that she pretended they were still alive. She couldn't even get rid of their things. You're not dealing with the death of someone, but it's still a loss. And I think if you understand that, it might help you see why you're trying so hard to hold onto it."

He's talking as if my gymnastics career is over. Just like Amber does, and my parents. Why do people keep doing this? Assuming it's over when it's not?

"Well, I better head out." Nash walks to the door, then turns back. "You gonna be okay?"

I nod, but my eyes are still teary.

"Austin wants you back. I know he does. And I know you want to be with him. But you're gonna have to take the first step. You hurt him, and he feels betrayed, and I know for a fact that he won't be with you if it means watching you do things that could hurt you. He cares too much about you to stand by and watch that happen." He opens the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He leaves and Amber walks through the door.

"Nash Wheeler?" she whispers as she shuts the door. She brings her voice back to normal. "Holy shit, he's hot. I've never seen him up close like that. And that body? Damn, that family has good genes." She drops her backpack by the door and goes to the kitchen. "So what was he doing here?"

"Telling me where I need to be tomorrow. I have to be at the house by eight."

"You're still doing that?"

"Yeah, I told you I was. That's why I got the doctor's note."

"So what exactly are you doing? Yard work?"

"Raking leaves."

"And Austin will be there?"

"He's in charge of the event, but I probably won't see him. He isn't on my work crew. His brother, Bryce, is supervising my crew."

"That was obviously intentional." She gets a glass from the cupboard and fills it with water.

"Yeah," I mutter. "Austin doesn't want to see me. Or talk to me."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know."

Nash just basically told me what I'd have to do to get Austin back. He said I had to stop lying, which I can do. I never wanted to lie to Austin and I don't want to do it again. But as for stopping my training? For good? I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can give up gymnastics. It's everything I am, so how can I give it up?

"Kira?" Amber's standing in front me, holding her glass of water. "What's wrong? It's like you're in a trance."

"I was just thinking."

"About what?" She drinks her water.

I look at her. "Why did you quit gymnastics?"

"You know why. I got too busy with other stuff. Cheerleading. School activities." She smiles. "Boys."

"But you were really good. If you'd stuck with it, you might've been the one going to nationals instead of me. So why would you give it up?"

She sets her glass down on the counter. "Because I knew gymnastics was only temporary. It's basically over when you're twenty. I wasn't willing to give everything up for something that would be over in a few years. I wanted to have fun. Have a boyfriend. Hang out with my friends. Go to football games and parties."

Those were all things I missed out on. I had a boyfriend, but I didn't see him much.

"And you don't regret giving it up?"

"No. I would've regretted missing out on all that other stuff. Kira, why are you asking me this?"

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