Page 121 of More To Us

"Yeah. So um, you're saying you're THE Amber? The one from last May? The one he wrote the song about?"

"Yeah," she says quietly. "It was only supposed to be a one-night thing so I told him I'd just graduated from college and was moving to New York. I only said it because I didn't want him trying to contact me."

"Why? Was the night that bad? Because Dylan makes it sound like—"

"It wasn't bad." She looks down at the couch. "It was amazing. The best night of my life."

"Then why did you do that? Why did you disappear like that?"

"Because I wanted the memory of that night to never change. I didn't want to date him and then break up with him later and tarnish what we had together that night."

That makes absolutely no sense, but maybe to a girl it does. Actually, no, it doesn't make sense to a girl or a guy. It's completely illogical.

"Amber, you need to tell him. Dylan's been looking for you for months. He never got your last name so he's just been searching for Ambers who live in New York. You know how many hours he's spent trying to find you?"

She sniffles, and this time I don't think it's from her illness. Her eyes are red like she's about to cry. "I didn't know he was looking for me. I knew he wrote the song but..." She sniffles again. "I didn't mean to hurt him. I really didn't. After that night, I thought he'd forget all about me. But then Kira told me about that song and I...I didn't know what to do. I had no idea that night meant as much to him as it did to me."

Listening to her, I'm getting really angry. Angry that she let Dylan suffer for months, knowing he wanted her back. If she didn't want to date him, she could've at least called and told him. I'm also angry at Kira. Why didn't she tell me this? She knows Dylan has been looking for Amber, and this whole time, Kira's been living with her and never said anything.

"This is bullshit," I say, getting up. "I can't believe you'd do this to him. There's no way I'm keeping this a secret." I huff. "But don't worry. I'm sure when he finds out what you did, he won't want to date you."

Maybe that was mean to say, but it's true. Dylan won't want to date her after finding this out.

"Austin, I told you, I wasn't hiding this from Dylan in order to hurt him. When I found out he wanted to see me, I just couldn't do it. I was worried if I saw him again, I'd want to be with him."

"Yeah? So what's wrong with that? Isn't that what you both want?"

"I'm dating Matt. And I was dating him when I found out about Dylan."

I sit down again. "No offense, but I don't really see you and Matt lasting as a couple. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just being honest."

"I didn't ask for your opinion," she snaps, tossing the pillow aside. "You don't even know Matt. Or me. So you shouldn't be making comments about us."

"Fine. But I know Dylan, and I know he really liked you. Hell, maybe even loved you. The way the guy talks about you, you'd think—never mind. The point is, you never should've lied to him. If you didn't want to see him again, you could've just told me and I would've relayed the message."

"But I DO want to see him again."

"What?" I stare at her. "You just said you didn't. Make up your freaking mind."

She lets out a long sigh. "I know you won't understand this, but that night was like a fairytale to me. A fantasy. Something I know I'll never have again. So I don't want to ruin it by dating Dylan."

"How would dating him ruin a memory? That doesn't even make sense."

"Memories are always ruined when the people who are part of them screw up and do something that makes you no longer like them—or worse, hate them."

"I doubt that would happen. Dylan's a good guy. He treats girls well. He doesn't cheat."

"That doesn't mean it would end well if we were dating."

"It already HASN'T ended well. You're both miserable. And who says it would have to end? Shit, maybe you'll date for years. Maybe you'll end up marrying him. Have five kids. Who the hell knows? But you'll never find out unless you give him a chance. Actually, forget that. None of that's gonna happen because he'll be too pissed at you when he finds out."

"I'm sorry," she mutters, then closes her eyes and sniffles again.

I'm not trying to make her feel bad, but what she did was fucking mean. So maybe I do want her to feel bad. She made Dylan feel bad for months.

We sit there in silence. I need a moment to calm down. I'm so freaking angry. I was already angry at Kira, but then I found out about Amber and now I'm angry with both of them.

"So how did this happen?" Amber asks.