“Hey, kid,” he said, causing her to jump.
“Oh my God, Nick, you scared me.”
She smiled at him, but Nick noticed it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He sighed. He’d really been hoping he wouldn’t have to have this conversation with his sister. But at this point, he didn’t seem to have any other option. And since beating around the bush was also out of the question given their current time constraints, he asked, as gently as possible, “Having second thoughts?”
Her eyes widened for a split second before she burst out in a nervous, high-pitched laugh. “No way! Are you crazy? I have the dress, everything’s been booked, Michael and I have been working three jobs to pay for everything, and everyone’s here. The wedding is happening tomorrow.”
Nick rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, feeling all kinds of awkward. “I’m not really asking if you’re having second thoughts about the wedding, Sadie. I’m asking if you’re having second thoughts about the marriage.”
She blinked at him, then said, “I love Michael.”
He nodded. “Of course you do. You wouldn’t have said yes when he asked you to marry him if you didn’t.”
“Oh, he didn’t ask me. I asked him.”
“Well, sure you…wait, what?”
Sadie laughed again. “Don’t look so shocked, Nick. It’s 2018. A woman can ask a man to marry her, you know.”
He was quiet for a moment while he processed what Sadie said. Of course a woman could ask a man to marry her, he thought. Nick wasn’t a sexist. But this was Sadie. The girl who started writing stories about princesses and the princes who proposed to them when she was eight. The girl who kept a scrapbook full of wedding dress images under her pillow when she was fourteen. For Sadie to buck tradition and ask Michael to marry her? It was…weird. Absolutely nothing short of weird.
“And you didn’t think…” Nick trailed off. Jesus, maybe I should’ve let Grace handle this. “…you were a little young to be making that kind of commitment? What was the hurry?” Then a horrible thought occurred to him. “Wait, you’re not pregnant, are you?”
A blush tinged her cheeks, and she let out a disgusted snort. “No, Nick, I’m not pregnant. The birds-and-the-bees chat you had with me when I was nine stuck with me, okay?”
It had stuck with him, too. Shit. Was there anything worse than having to explain where babies came from to your little sister? He could still remember the intense relief he’d felt when she wrinkled up her little nose and said, “Ew, I’m never going to do that.”
Ah, the good old days.
Sadie draped the wedding dress lovingly over the back of a velvet-covered chaise and tucked her arm through his. “Look, Nick, you’re the one who taught me that when there’s something I want, I should go after it hard, right?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Well, I love Michael, and I can’t really explain it, but it didn’t take me long to realize I’m meant to be part of this family. I knew it as soon as I met his parents and Ruthie. And I figured, why wait, you know? So I made it happen. Just like you told me to do.”
He frowned. “Babe, I remember that conversation, and I’m pretty sure I was talking about you getting picked for the swim team when you were twelve. I don’t remember saying anything about getting married.”
This time her laugh sounded genuine. “I know that. But the advice was still good.” Her expression turned serious as she added, “I need this, Nick. Can you understand that?”
He understood better than anyone probably ever could. He’d done his best to take care of her when their family—which was really only a step above living on the streets to begin with—totally fell to shit. But for an impressionable little girl like Sadie, having a punk like him for a big brother could never compare to having a real family, like the one Grace and Michael had.
The kind of family Sadie was so obviously desperate to have.
What he’d told Grace had been right all along. He couldn’t take this chance away from her. Sure, Michael had acted like a grade-A asshole this morning. But overall, it was pretty obvious the kid adored his sister. Michael was young and stupid, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Sadie could do worse.
Nick sighed. “Alright, I’m only going to ask you one more thing, then I’ll let it go and support whatever you decide, okay?”
When Sadie nodded, he asked, “Are you sure Michael’s the one?”
Given how he’d seen her looking at Gage over the past couple of days, Nick thought the question was fair. He half expected Sadie to shoot back an indignant of course. But instead, she smiled wryly and asked, “Is anyone ever really sure? It’s all a gamble, right? I mean, what does the one look like, anyway?”
Nick started speaking without really thinking. “The one is the first person you think about when you wake up, and the last before you go to bed. You feel like a part of you is missing when you’re not with her, like you can’t quite catch your breath until she’s there at your side. You hear a funny joke and the first thing you want to do is call her, because you know she’ll think it’s funny, too. She’s the one who holds your heart in her hands, and the idea doesn’t even scare you because you trust her with it and know there’s no one else on earth you’d ever want to give it to, anyway. She makes you want to be better. At everything. She’s…the balance. Sunlight to darkness.”
A few weeks ago, Nick wouldn’t have had an answer to Sadie’s question. So, now that the words had stopped flowing, he imagined he looked just as surprised at having said them as Sadie looked hearing them.
He was even more surprised that he’d meant every word.
Sadie’s eyes filled with tears. “Wow,” she whispered, voice thick with emotion. “Sounds like there’s maybe someone you should be talking to more than me right now, Nicky.”