Page 7 of Make Me Remember

“This ho I was involved with started a lot of shit, saying I was the father of her baby. I had to file a restraining order on her ass. She killed herself and left a note saying she killed herself because of my rejection.”

“It’s not your child?”

“No. I hadn’t fucked that girl in almost a year now… eight months when she said she was pregnant with my child.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Savage had practically done the same shit to me. The only difference was that we were still fucking around when I found out I was pregnant. He left me without a trace when I told him. He said that my baby could have been from anybody since I was the biggest ho in Nashville. Without even realizing it, a tear slid down my cheek.

I blinked rapidly and quickly wiped my cheek with my shoulder, hoping Mr. Henderson didn’t see it. He took a deep breath as I brought his leg down and did the same thing again.

“After that letter, about ten of those muthafuckas in her family jumped me. That’s why my leg and ribs fucked up. My cousins all live by me. Most of the houses here in Henderson Village are owned by my cousins. They heard the commotion and came to help me. I guess that pissed them off. So, they came back a little while ago and shot one of my cousins… one of the most innocent of my male cousins. He wasn’t even there that night they jumped me.”

“That’s usually how it works. The person that has nothing to do with the situation is the one that gets hurt the most, simply by being at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

I closed my eyes as I thought about how Jivoni’s dad had his way with me for nearly three years. Mercedes allowed the shit by ignoring the signs and my cries for help. My own mother sacrificed my innocence simply because that was what happened to her. Mr. Henderson’s words were triggering the fuck out of me.

“Well, I hate that it happened. I wish I would have never fucked with that bitch.”

I remained silent and retreated within my own thoughts for a moment, trying to talk myself out of what I was feeling. I couldn’t imagine killing someone, but to protect my daughter or any of my siblings, especially Keonshay, I would do it in a heartbeat. The way Keonshay gave of herself to protect me was like having superwoman powers. She sacrificed herself time and time again. The day she gave herself to that man to save me was always at the back of my mind, along with the night she and Kace rescued me from his frat brother. That nigga drugged and raped me when I was fifteen.

When I moved to his upper torso, he lay back, and I could feel him staring at me as I leaned over him, feeling the bruises on his ribs. As I massaged, he grabbed my hand. I turned to look at him as he brought my hand to his chest. His heart was beating extremely fast, and his skin looked somewhat clammy.

“You okay?” I asked, clearly concerned about his well-being.

He nodded as I frowned. “Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yeah. I just… have these slight anxiety attacks. They come out the fucking blue. Your touch is soothing though. I feel like you see me for who I am. I’m not a thug, but I will quickly adopt the mentality to protect my family. I work hard repairing farm equipment and shit. Why can’t people just leave… me the fuck alone?”

His question wasn’t meant for me to answer. I stared in his eyes and before I could even think clearly, I brought my hand to his face, stroking his cheek with my thumb. He licked his lips and closed his eyes. I quickly cleared my throat and pulled away from him, seeing his erection. This was torture. I wanted him so bad, but I refused to just fuck him when I knew I didn’t want a relationship.

After finishing our routine stretches and exercises in silence, I began gathering my things. I walked over to where the flowers were and sniffed them. They were beautiful. It was red roses along with baby’s breath, white and yellow lilies, and a couple of purple tulips. I smiled slightly, needing the solace this bouquet of flowers was providing me with. The only flowers I’d received in my life were from relatives… my siblings or my brother-in-law Kace.

I grabbed them from the countertop and walked back over to where Mr. Henderson was seated. He stood from his seat and said, “Let me help you with those. It’s kind of big.”

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

He bit his bottom lip then gave me a slight smile. When I saw him limping behind me, I said, “You need to be icing your knee and ankle. It hasn’t been twenty minutes.”

He grabbed the flowers from me. “I’ll ice it after you leave.”

I slowly shook my head and walked toward the door. When his uncle walked through it, I took a deep breath. This nigga was an entire problem. From our short interaction earlier, I could tell he and I would have words eventually. He smiled and said, “You leaving already?” Glancing at his phone, he continued. “You should be staying an extra ten minutes to make up for being late.”

I looked at Mr. Henderson then said, “You wanna get your guard dog before he see how we handle dogs in the hood?”

When I looked back up at the man in front of me, he had a deep frown on his face, almost intimidating. It would be to someone that hadn’t endured the shit I did. He was fucking with the wrong one. I wasn’t in the mood either. My emotions were all fucked up, listening to Mr. Henderson’s issues.

“Hol’ on. You don’t know who the fuck I am. Put some respect in your tone.”

“Respect is earned. You ain’t earned shit on my end.” I turned back to Mr. Henderson. “If you want me to come back, let me know.”

I took the flowers from him and headed to my car, feeling the tears that were threatening to fall. My heart was heavy, and I hated feeling this way, especially around people. Usually, I was in the privacy of my home and bedroom when my feelings attacked me. I couldn’t continue having him as a patient like this. I wasn’t a fucking counselor. Even after all my years of going through counseling, I still found myself in this space sometimes.

“Miss Chatmon! Wait!”

I turned to see Mr. Henderson headed my way. He was limping bad. “You should be in the house.”

“I’m sorry about Uncle Storm. He’s like that with everybody. He was just fucking wit’chu. You okay? I mean, I ain’t never seen you like this.”

“I’m cool. Thanks.”

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