Page 18 of Make Me Remember

“Lord, thank You for this wonderful meal my daughter has prepared. We ask You to bless it for the nourishment of our bodies. Thank You for an infinite number of chances to get things right. Thank You for allowing Mekayla and Mercedes to be receptive. The love they have shown me has been overwhelming. Help me to be strong in this moment and help me to express my love for them in a way that leaves no doubt in their minds of what they mean to me. In Your son’s name, amen.”

“Amen,” we repeated simultaneously.

I knew whatever he had to say was going to be heavy. We ate in silence as LaTee looked around the table. “Grandma, how have you been?”

“Good, my baby. How about you?”

“I’ve been okay. I’m glad you’re here.”

She glanced at me then Stacy and said, “Me too.”

“So how have you been, Mercedes? You look great,” my dad said.

She blushed. I found that amusing. She’d become so mild mannered these days. Back when I was a teenager, she would have dropped the pussy on a nigga for a compliment like that. “Thank you. I’ve just been working a lot. What about you?”

“Well, that’s kind of what I want to talk to y’all about, simply because I want y’all to know.”

I nodded and swallowed hard. He looked sick. I played over my food until LaTee took her empty bowl to the sink and rinsed it out. My mama seemed to be picking over her food too. Daddy had cleaned his bowl. “Mekayla, this was delicious. You would have been an amazing chef.”

“Thanks.”

I wasn’t as enthused about dinner anymore. When LaTee asked if she could go to her room, I was beyond relieved, because I didn’t want her to know there was something going on. Even with me sending her out of the room, her nosy ass would have asked questions until I told her something believable… something that made sense in her mind.

My dad cleared his throat and said, “I suppose this is the best time to say something since LaTee went to her room.” He shifted in his seat and continued. “I have pancreatic cancer. It’s progressing quickly. I just wanted to make my rights wrong with the three of you before I couldn’t. I just wish Zhori could have been here.”

Out of nowhere, I responded, “So you needed to clear your conscience. Got it.”

I stood from the table and scratched my food in the trash. His confession was like a gut check. Had he not been sick, he would have never persisted in having a relationship with me. He gave me everything I’d been craving for his own benefit… his peace of mind.

“Mekayla, I did this for all of us. I needed to clear my conscience, but I also knew that y’all needed to know of my remorse and regrets for the things I did. I could see that you were struggling with something that day in the restaurant. Whenever I see you now, it isn’t there. My regrets of not being a good father have haunted me for years. Whether you believe me or not, I love you, baby.”

I wiped my face then turned to him. I glanced at Mama to see she was completely quiet. It was like she was stunned. She wasn’t crying, but I could tell by the emotion in her eyes that what he said had bothered her. I took a deep breath and asked, “How long did they give you?”

“Another month or so. It’s very organized and aggressive. Chemotherapy didn’t work. When I found out I had it, I was already in stage three. I wrote my symptoms off as just a pinched nerve in my back. My back was hurting all the time, and I was losing weight. All those years of smoking and doing whatever I wanted to do in those streets probably caused it all. I just… I want to spend as much time with y’all as possible before my time is up. Please, baby girl.”

I wiped the tears that had fallen. I had finally reconnected with a part of me I craved only for it to be snatched away from me in a month’s time. This was so hard. I didn’t know how I would function knowing that I was about to lose him. Finally, Mama asked, “So who’s helping you through this?”

“Nobody. It’s just been me.”

She nodded. “Let me help you.”

When I saw the tears in his eyes, it caused more to fall from my eyes as well. My mama was going to be his saving grace, and I couldn’t help but respect her even more. With the way he fucked up their relationship, she was willing to forget it all. He grabbed her hand and whispered, “Thank you.”

She nodded, but when I saw the tears fall from her eyes, I knew Mercedes had indeed changed. She wiped them then stared over at me. “Well, did you make dessert?”

I smiled. She knew I did. “Well, of course. I don’t half step. Who I look like? An amateur?”

She laughed and clapped dramatically. “I know that’s right, baby.”

I stood and went to the kitchen to get the turtle cheesecake from the fridge. When I set it on the table, my dad’s eyes widened yet again. “This looks like something out of a magazine, baby.”

I beamed with pride as I went back for plates. When I returned, I cut them each a slice and a slice for myself. I would call LaTee to the kitchen for a slice later. Sitting across from them, I said, “I’m proud of how the two of you have evolved. Despite the things you did and decisions you made years ago, you changed. That’s what’s important.”

My mama nodded. “Had it not been for Keonshay, I don’t know what my neglect would have done to y’all. I will always be indebted to her. I don’t even know how God blessed me with children, let alone one so pure and responsible. From the age of ten, she knew what it meant to be a mother. I was a mother of four, still behaving like a teenager. After Keonshay, I should have matured.”

“Well, Mama, you couldn’t because of what your uncle did. You didn’t know how to heal from that, and you surely shouldn’t have had to deal with it alone at the age of fourteen. Landon shouldn’t even be here.”

My dad looked confused. He didn’t know the truth about what happened to Mercedes, because we didn’t find out until after we’d been taken from her. It was Keonshay that was able to pull it out of her after our grandmother enlightened her.

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