Page 338 of The Life of Anna-Tenth Anniversary Edition: Act 2

“You said that already. I will do what I can to help him.”

“I suppose I should really say he needs you and I together. He needs our combined essence if he is going to defeat Devin.”

Anna felt the blood drain from her face and she clasped her hands together in her lap, trying to keep them from shaking. She never wanted to do that again. “Why don’t you use Irina?” She cringed at the thought.

“You are his wife. It is your duty.”

Anna squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head, unable to hold back the horrible memories of Devin and Kaveh that flooded her mind. Her whole body trembled as tears escaped and ran down her face.

She had escaped Devin only to end up in the same situation as before. To be raped and sucked dry each night. To become a means to an end, a tool in Alex’s pocket. Would he hang her from the ceiling like Devin had? Would his eyes have golden flecks in them? Would he torture her while she was half-conscious, unable to scream? Would Sebastian chase her around the condo? Make her run until she couldn’t run anymore? Tear her apart while he felt only pleasure?

Her shoulders slumped at the realization that it didn’t matter what she wanted. Her fears, her desires, didn’t matter. Alex was her Master, and this was her duty. Maybe Alex would finally forgive her.

She opened her eyes and swallowed hard. “When do you want to do it?”

Alex was leaning over the table, studying a map of Boston alone. He stayed in the study most of the time because it was too painful to be around Anna. She was quiet and respectful, as if resigned to the fact that she was stuck with him. His anger had worn off, replaced with sadness and longing for their relationship to be restored.

Sebastian walked in and stopped on the other side of the table. “She’s willing to help you.”

Alex sighed. “I don’t want to force her.”

“I listened to her thoughts as she contemplated what I asked. She’s terrified, because of Devin, but hopes that you’ll forgive her if she does.”

“I have forgiven her,” Alex said in a broken voice. “I want things to be better between us.”

“Have you told her that? She thinks you’re still angry.”

“She doesn’t seem to be interested in talking with me.”

“She is afraid, Alex. Devin tortured her for the slightest infraction. I don’t even know if she realizes how afraid she is.”

Alex straightened and stared at his friend. “She’s equating me with Devin?”

“She does not know what to think. He is the only Master she had for many years. There is no other frame of reference.”

“My father wasn’t cruel.”

“Being with your father a few days here and there cannot undo what Devin did to her.” Sebastian leaned against the back of the couch. “Did you even ask her why she went to Hugo?”

“I—‍” Alex chewed his lip. “No.”

“I think what we did with Irina and her terror of what I have asked her are related. Devin—‍” Sebastian shook his head. “Do you know how Devin did it?”

Alex shook his head. Did he want to know?

“Kaveh brutally raped her every afternoon, and then Devin hung her from the ceiling and consumed her until she couldn’t move. Sometimes he tortured her while she hung there, coherent but unable to move. Then she was halfway revived so Devin could rape her.”

Alex closed his eyes, sick to his stomach. Every new thing he learned about Devin made him more determined to make him pay. His poor, brave, sweet wife. “She thinks if she lets me do that to her, that I’ll forgive her?” he whispered.

“You can show her it can be different. That it can be enjoyable.”

Alex sat down in the chair next to the window and looked outside. “She might prefer you to me after you’re done.”

“Only if you continue to be a fuckhead.”

Oh, the irony of Alex being called the same name that his brother had been called was not lost on him. He hadn’t treated her any better than Kurt had. Had he been wrong to be angry?

“You had a right to be angry, Alex. She was wrong in what she did. But just because she has stood up to you a few times does not mean she will confront you when she knows you are angry. She is not that confident. Not yet.”

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