Page 280 of The Life of Anna-Tenth Anniversary Edition: Act 2

“If I could go out tonight, none of this would’ve happened.”

“True.”

Anna turned over to look at him. “I hate this. When I got to New York, I had just gotten to the point where I didn’t resent Alex saving me. Aside from the whole Devin-wanting-ultimate-power thing, I’m beginning to resent it again.” She sighed. “I wish it was all over now. Just... ya know, move on with my life. No more possibilities, just... life.”

“I’d miss you, though.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. “I like having you here with me.”

“I like being here with you, too.” She sighed and scooted forward, leaning her head on his chest. “I don’t know how Wilhelm expects me to go without sex until I marry Kurt.”

“Does he know about Mr. J?”

Anna shrugged. “I certainly didn’t tell him. But I don’t know if Mr. J is still interested in me. It’ll have been three weeks tomorrow that I haven’t seen—er, felt him.”

Aaron chuckled. “If he’s found someone better in the sack than you, I want to meet her.”

Chapter 140

Wednesday, Anna was allowed to resume her “normal” life, what little life it was. Hugo didn’t look at her when she walked into the studio. He’d taken a place on the other side of the studio again, like when they’d first broken up. She blinked back tears as she trudged to her customary place and got ready for class.

Her body felt heavy as she tried to dance that morning. It worked, but it took more energy than it normally did. She spent the pauses between songs staring at the floor and wishing she were a mindless slave again.

“Okay, girl,” Stefanie said at lunch, waving her fork in the air. “We need to go out this Saturday. You’ve been cooped up for far too long.”

Anna chewed her lip. “I don’t know if I’m up for going out.” Would Wilhelm disapprove of her going out? She hated not knowing what she was supposed to do. It would be so much easier if Wilhelm were here. Then he could tell her exactly what he wanted from her. Or maybe she should just go live in Tom’s Manor. She’d know what to do there.

“I will drag your ass out if you don’t come voluntarily. Being alone isn’t good, Katrina. You need to get out and have some fun. You look so depressed.”

Anna wished she could tell her friend more about her life, but didn’t know if she was allowed. Tom had given her permission to tell Hugo. Was she allowed to tell her new best friend? How was she supposed to have a friend if she couldn’t tell her anything about her own life?

She hadn’t even told Stef about what happened with Hugo. As wonderful as making love to him had been, the knowledge that it wouldn’t ever happen again just turned it into a painful memory. She’d finally fallen in love with Hugo and couldn’t do anything about it.

Simon hadn’t reached out to her either. It was probably for the best, though. She wouldn’t be good company. Wilhelm had not only forbidden her from being with Hugo, he’d also forbidden her from becoming attached to anyone else. She had a bad habit of falling for the kind men she slept with. Spending time with Mr. J wasn’t a good idea. Damn Wilhelm!

“Euroman wasn’t at the club last week,” Stef said. “Wonder if he found another place to go.”

“He wasn’t?” Anna tilted her head. “Was he the week before?”

“Oh, yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “The women were showing off for him. A few of them flashed their breasts.”

Anna winced at the pain in her heart. No wonder Simon hadn’t called.

“So, you wanna see if he’s there Saturday?” Stef asked.

“Aren’t there other clubs to go to?” She didn’t want to see other women vying for his attention. But she did agree with Stef that she needed to get out.

In the end, Anna and Stef and some of the other dancers ended up at the same club as always on Saturday night. Stef had invited Hugo, but he said he was busy. Anna wondered if he was really busy or just avoiding being around her. If he was avoiding her, she couldn’t blame him. This separation was far more painful than the first time.

Simon had called Wednesday evening to make arrangements for Saturday, but Anna told him she was busy. When he asked about the following week, she told him she didn’t know. He didn’t seem happy about her answer, but she didn’t know what else to say. She was afraid to do anything, for fear of upsetting Wilhem.

Anna dressed carefully for her evening out, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. The denim miniskirt and white baby-tee were sexy. Was she trying to make Mr. J jealous? Or just trying to make sure she had a good time at the club? She could have sex as long as she didn’t get attached, right? Was that even possible?

She sat down on her bed and hung her head. The uncertainty was driving her crazy. At least with Devin, she knew what to expect.

On the other hand, Wilhelm hadn’t forbidden her from going out and having fun. Maybe tonight was okay? She supposed if it weren’t, she’d find out soon enough. In a very painful way.

Later that night, Anna walked into the club with her friends and her gaze went directly to the red, semi-sheer curtain hanging in the archway, shielding Mr. J from prying eyes. Was he here? Did he know she was here?

She lifted her chin, determination filling her. What did it matter if he noticed her presence or not? She could have any man here, if she wanted, and she wanted to have a good time. The music was loud and the dance floor crowded. Numerous women had gathered in front of the red curtain.

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