“You got to say goodbye, though, right?”
“Yeah. My mother and I were there when he died.”
“I’ve never gotten to say goodbye to anyone,” Anna said softly.
“You say that as if you’ve lost a lot of people.”
She had lost quite a few people in her life. Her parents. Ben. Alex and his men. Hers and Wilhelm’s baby. And now Jenna. She winced at the pain that surged through her heart. “A few.”
“Are your parents alive?”
“No. They died when I was twelve.” Devin had killed them. She’d forgotten he’d admitted that.
“How did they die?”
“Car accident.” Though it hadn’t really been an accident... She winced at the thought.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the grief you must have felt to lose both of them at once.”
“It was a long time ago. I don’t really remember it.” Devin and Jack had started touching her afterward, dulling the pain. Had she actually ever mourned for anyone? Mourned like a normal person? Probably not. She wasn’t exactly normal. She used sex to distract herself from the pain. Tears filled her eyes again as she looked up at Hugo. “How do you mourn?”
He stroked her hair and gave her a sad smile. “It’s different for everyone, Anna. How did you deal with your husband dying?”
She flushed. “I was high for two years.”
“Oh.” He gave her a gentle smile. “I wouldn’t recommend that.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Good.” He smiled. “I’d hate to see you on drugs. You wouldn’t be able to dance and I wouldn’t have you for my premiere.”
She gave him a half-smile. “I wouldn’t want to let you down.”
“I can’t imagine you doing such a thing.”
They sat quietly together for several long minutes. She listened to his steady heartbeat, and the tension slowly melted away. Things would be okay again. Someday.
“Do you want to go home?” he asked softly. “Vincent would understand.”
Anna shook her head. “Dancing... dancing helps. Helps me feel better.”
He nodded. “I could see that about you.” He stood and helped her to her feet, then hugged her tight. “I’m here for you if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Hugo.”
They walked back to the studio. Class had just started a few minutes prior, and Anna slipped on her pointe shoes and joined in. Hugo spoke with Vincent for a moment, then took his place at the barre behind her.
Anna walked into an empty apartment that evening. Her heart sank at the realization that Aaron was gone, along with Justin, to fly back to California for Jenna’s funeral. Grief consumed her and she grappled with the fact that she couldn't tell Jenna's dad how sorry she was for what had happened. That she was stuck in New York and couldn’t tell her best friend goodbye. And Aaron nor Justin could let on that they knew where she was. Anna understood why, but it didn’t make it any easier.
Hugo promised to keep her company while Aaron was out of town, and he did, letting her cry when she needed to cry, and hold her when the pain in her heart threatened to overwhelm her. He took Anna out to dinner Friday night and then they went back to Anna’s apartment and watched TV. He’d suggested going out to the club with the other dancers, or even out to a movie, but she wasn’t in the mood to be around people. And she wasn’t certain that she’d be able to contain her tears if she went out in public.
Sitting on the couch with Hugo, watching TV, was comforting. She snuggled closer to rest her arm on his solid stomach and her head on his chest. He played with her hair, brushing her neck every once in a while. She wasn’t sure he was doing it on purpose, but lifted her chin so he had better access to her neck.
His heart raced and the pain in her heart dulled as he glided his fingers down her neck, from behind her ear to her collarbone and back up. Anna fisted his t-shirt and swallowed as he repeated the motion. She wanted him. Wanted him to touch her, more than just on her neck, but would he think poorly of her if they had sex so quickly? By his comments he’d made at dinner, and how he treated her, she was pretty sure he thought of her as a sweet, innocent girl. And that’s how she was supposed to appear. She’d even felt that way a few times.
He had no idea she could give him the best blowjob of his life, and she wanted to badly. She wanted to taste him, to have him in her mouth first and then in her body.
But she also liked that he thought of her as innocent. She supposed she could justify it by thinking about the fact that Katrina hadn’t slept with many people.