She pressed her lips together. Even the “good” memories hurt. She preferred not to think about them. She stood. “I shouldn’t be here. I should go.”
Kurt grabbed her hand. “Please stay, Anna,” he pleaded softly. “Please. I have missed you.”
Anna stopped and looked back at him. The emotion that filled his eyes pained her. He cared for her. A lot. It was written all over his face. Is that why he’d come to San Francisco? To be with her?
“No.” She shook her head and backed away. She didn’t like the emotion she saw in his eyes. Even more, she feared the emotions bubbling up inside of her. “Please don’t, Kurt. I can’t deal with that.”
“Deal with what?” He stood, his voice husky with emotion. As much as she struggled, he held her hand tight and wouldn’t let her go.
“You. Feeling. Anything.”
Unexpectedly, Kurt leaned forward and kissed her. His lips were gentle, but insistent. His hand tangled in her hair and his tongue probed at her lips. She opened her mouth to receive him and let out a little moan as he invaded both her mouth and her heart. After a moment, she stopped fighting and leaned in and kissed him back. He nibbled at her lower lip and she gasped softly when he sucked on it. She moved her hand to the side of his face, her fingers tracing his cheekbone to his ear and down to his neck.
He pulled away, his lips lingering against hers. He gazed into her eyes. “Anna... I love you.”
“K-Kurt... No. I—I can’t. I can’t.” She pressed a hand to her chest and flinched. “It hurts too much.”
He brushed her hair away from her face. “I am not asking you to love me, Anna. I am only asking that you let me love you. I can be patient.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “Well, I can be now. I have learned quite a bit the last few years.”
Anna stared at him, her jaw trembling. She’d sworn to herself she’d never get involved with another man. And here she was, so quickly after reaffirming that vow, kissing Alex’s brother.
But she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. Not a single second. She traced his cheekbone again, and then his lips. “You’ve changed.”
“In a good way or a bad way?”
“Good, I think.”
“You did not like me before?” He pouted, but there was that familiar glint of mischief in his eyes.
She smiled. “I think you know the answer to that.”
His eyes softened and he smiled. “I do.”
Wilhelm cleared his throat and they both jumped. Anna had forgotten he was in the room. She looked sheepishly over at him, but he was beaming at them. “I think Anna needs to eat.”
Kurt looked her up and down. “You have lost a lot of weight, Engel.”
Anna looked down. “I’ve gained a bunch in the last few weeks. Devin makes me eat.”
Kurt grimaced. “I would hate to see how you looked a few weeks ago.”
“Devin said I was too skinny and not worth fucking.”
Both men’s jaws dropped open and Anna covered her mouth. “I’m sorry.” She looked down, her cheeks burning. It was true, but crudely stated.
Wilhelm recovered quicker than Kurt did. “It is fine. I am glad you are doing better now.”
Anna smiled. “I think I am too.” For some reason, she felt more like herself than she had in a very long time. At that moment, the idea of celebrating her birthday didn’t seem as ridiculous as it had an hour ago.
Kurt and Wilhelm took Anna to lunch at a cozy Italian restaurant around the corner from the hotel. Her fondness for the two men had been rekindled by the time they finished eating. An unfamiliar emotion swirled around her heart. Happiness. It was nice. Very nice.
Anna realized she appreciated Kurt’s attention. No one would ever replace Alex. He’d been her soul mate—or so she’d thought at the time. But unexpectedly, Anna found herself thinking about a future with Kurt. After all, he was now an Elder-Son, and an Elder-Son could be with an Elder-Mistress.
Chapter 7
“Anna, please let me buy you a decent car.” Kurt had been pleading with her to be able to buy her something all afternoon. “Or find you a better place to live. Vati says your place is hideous.”
They strolled through a park close to the hotel. The rain had subsided and the sun’s warm rays filled the day with cheer.