Page 340 of The Life of Anna-Tenth Anniversary Edition: Act 1

Alex sighed. He was troubled. She could feel it. He pulled her to him and held her against his chest, smoothing her hair.

She didn’t resist, but didn’t relax into his arms either. “If you want to be with Gretchen, don’t concern yourself with me. I?—‍”

“Nein,” he growled. “I have no desire to be with Gretchen.”

“But you’ve been with her before.” She could see it in Gretchen’s body language.

“It didn’t mean anything. She was just... convenient.” He spoke absently. “It was a year ago.”

“You didn’t when you came back here?”

“Nein. Anna, the last woman I had sex with was you.”

“That was only a few hours ago.”

Alex sighed. “I mean, before we got married. While I was here, if I needed release, I would go to the Schloss for a blowjob, but I haven’t had sex with anyone else since I left San Francisco.”

Anna looked up at him. “You haven’t?”

He cradled her cheek. “I haven’t wanted anyone else.”

Guilt seared Anna’s heart. “I have.”

“I know you dated Ben. I know you had to do things for Devin. I would never hold anything like that against you. But once I met you... I just never wanted anyone else.”

Anna searched his eyes. He was being truthful, but there was still something wrong. She could feel the discomfort in his heart. Almost as keenly as she felt pain in her own heart. “What’s wrong?” She reached up to stroke his cheek.

Alex pressed his lips together. “Komm mit mir.” He took her hand and lead her into the library. They sat on a bench next to a window and Alex clenched and unclenched his hands. “Anna...” He inhaled deeply. “Gretchen... told me something rather upsetting.” He looked at her with sad eyes. “I don’t want to ruin our wedding day. But I can’t hide trouble from you.” He smiled sadly at her. “You can read me too well.”

“Is it what was bothering you at the sht...” She tried to remember the German name, but gave up after a long moment. “The place we got married?”

He shook his head. “Nein,” he said softly, then sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to wait until tomorrow to talk about it?”

Anna swallowed and looked down at her hands. “Whatever you would like, Alex.” She would be obedient and quiet.

“I don’t want your day to be ruined,” he said, taking her hand in his. “I want you to have a good wedding day.”

“Yes, Alex,” she whispered. Maybe it would be better if he didn’t tell her at all. Whatever it was, it was very distressing for Alex. Her fingers felt raw and she rubbed the backs of them.

They sat silently for a few minutes. Alex put his arm around Anna and hugged her to him. She stared at the floor and wondered what would happen next.

“Alex? Oh, there you are. Where have you been?” Greta walked through the double doors of the library. Her cheerful demeanor was a stark contrast to the somber mood of the library. “Mutti wanted to know where you were. It’s time for dinner.”

Alex glanced at Anna and smiled. She gave a nervous smile and stood when he did. Taking her hand, he led her out of the library, down through the long formal sitting room, past the garden, and into the biggest room she’d ever seen. Anna stopped short in the arched entryway, amazed.

Along the walls, three-story-high columns topped with statues supported a vaulted wooden ceiling. Three enormous crystal chandeliers hung from the heights, bathing the room in light. Arched windows high on the walls between the columns let in the last traces of evening sun. An enormous white marble fireplace took up most of the wall at one end of the room, so large that a dozen people could easily stand inside.

In the middle of the room sat the largest table Anna had ever seen. There were enough seats for Alex’s entire family, children included. Despite Anna’s discomfort with Alex in the library, she clung to his hand as he guided her to a seat to the left of the head of the table where Wilhelm sat. Alex sat between herself and Wilhelm. Kurt and Gretchen sat across from them.

Gretchen gave her a strange smile. She held Otto in her lap, kissed the baby’s head and looked pointedly at Alex, who was talking to his father. Gretchen looked back at Anna with a haughty look and a wicked smile.

A wave of nausea hit Anna as she somehow understood Gretchen’s meaning. No! It couldn’t be true. Alex would have told her if he’d fathered a son with Gretchen.

Wait. Would he have? Was it any of her business? No wonder Gretchen was so proud. She had given Alex something Anna could never give him. Maybe that was what he didn’t want to tell her in the library.

Anna looked down into her lap and swallowed, willing her stomach to get under control. She didn’t want to get sick and embarrass Alex or make him regret marrying her even more. Surely he couldn’t be happy about marrying her if Gretchen had his child. But it would be difficult with her married to his brother. Did Alex have feelings for Gretchen?

Anna looked up to see Alex staring at Otto. There was a longing in his eyes that stabbed at Anna’s heart. Of course he wanted children. He needed children. He needed a son and heir. Something Anna could never give him.

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