Page 290 of The Life of Anna-Tenth Anniversary Edition: Act 1

Jenna sat on the bed next to Anna and put her hand on hers. “If I didn’t know how you’d been raised, I would’ve been disgusted. But I know what Devin did to you. He’s fucking with your head.”

Anna shook her head. “No, I’m weak.”

“I heard him say it as they were leaving. He’s trying to fuck with your head. I don’t know why.”

“I don’t know why he didn’t just hurt me like he usually does. He likes it.” She buried her face in her hands. “I’m so ashamed. Did Matt hear?”

“Yeah. He was pissed at you until I gave him more of your background. He doesn’t totally get it, but he doesn’t think you were trampling on Ben’s memory.”

Anna didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. She didn’t think Jenna was lying, but what she said didn’t make much. She glanced at her clock. “We need to get ready for class.”

Anna moved through the day in a daze, finding peace in her numbness. Anytime anyone tried to talk to her, she kept the conversations brief, reminding herself that anyone she cared about could become Devin’s next target. In the afternoon, she managed a five-minute phone call with Katherine to discuss attending Nutcracker on Thursday evening. Katherine invited Anna to accompany them back to Seattle on Friday after the funeral for Ben’s burial. Anna used the performances as an excuse and abruptly ended the call. In reality, she didn’t think she could face the idea of seeing Ben’s body go into the ground.

The numbness lifted when she danced and thankfully returned shortly thereafter.

Thursday dragged on in a similar fashion. Anna spent most of her time in her dressing room, only emerging when it was necessary for her to perform on stage. The time between dancing and the return of her numbness was excruciating.

Ben’s family came backstage after the performance that evening. They said she’d danced beautifully and that Ben would have been proud. She didn’t say much but was polite. Katherine hugged her hard before they left and told her that Matt would drive her to Ben’s memorial service in the morning.

Anna spent most of that night staring out her bedroom window, gazing out at the twinkling lights of the city below. She wasn’t tired and her heart had become a numb, empty void, which she found oddly comforting.

Chapter 137

On Friday morning, Anna sat on her bed, dressed in a somber black dress. She stared at the floor, lost in her thoughts, while she waited for Matt to arrive. The sound of Jenna moving around in the living room reached her ears, but Anna had no motivation to join her. She knew she’d have to face the world once Matt arrived, but for now, she preferred the solitude of her room.

She twisted the engagement ring on her finger. It was the only jewelry she wore, aside from Alex’s bracelet and Devin’s necklace. She didn’t feel worthy to wear it, but Katherine had mentioned she liked it and Anna didn’t want to disappoint her.

Someone knocked at the apartment door a few minutes later. Jenna answered, and Anna crawled to her feet and trudged out into the hallway. Anger surged through her body at the sight of Greg talking to Matt. She narrowed her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Greg gave a sad smile. “He was my friend, too. I told Matt I’d drive you guys.”

She clenched her jaw and then picked up her purse and swept past him.

“Why are you so hostile toward Greg?” Jenna whispered as they walked to the elevator.

“Because...” Anna clenched her jaw. Because the sight of Greg reminds me that Alex hates me. But she didn’t want to admit that out loud, so she just shrugged. “I just don’t like him.”

“Why?”

Anna pressed her lips together. “He’s my babysitter from Alex. I don’t want anything to do with Alex, but still he’s here.”

“You like Wilhelm,” Jenna pointed out. “And Kurt.”

Anna ground her teeth. “It’s different.”

“How?”

“It just is,” Anna snapped.

Jenna put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. It’s different.”

They made their way down to the parking garage and into Greg’s big black truck. Anna insisted on opening her own car door, swatting away his hand when he attempted to help. During the drive, she refused to engage in any conversation with Greg. He seemed to find her reaction amusing, which only fanned the flames of anger in her mind.

“We’ll leave for Frankfurt right after the last show on the twenty-eighth,” Greg said, switching tactics.

Anna’s eyes widened and she looked at him. “I’m not going.” She swallowed and looked out the window. No, she didn’t want to go, but she’d never been so bold as to outright refuse to go. But now that she said it... she meant it.

Greg laughed. “What do you mean you’re not going?”

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