Page 262 of The Life of Anna-Tenth Anniversary Edition: Act 1

Anna struggled to clear her mind long enough to figure out what to do next. She wanted to go home and sleep away the pain. Or have a ballet class to dance away her pain. Or maybe even have Devin call and torture her. Physical pain sounded better than what she was feeling right now. But she’d deceived the man she loved and she deserved what she was going through.

Her phone rang, and she eagerly dug into her purse, hoping it was Ben. But it wasn’t Ben’s picture on the screen; it was Kurt’s.

She sighed and stared at his handsome, smiling face. She didn’t want to talk to him—or anyone, for that matter—right now, but she had her duties. Duties that had just ruined her relationship with Ben. At least Kurt knew the truth about her.

She straightened and wiped her tears. “Hello, Kurt.” She kept her voice soft, hoping he wouldn’t hear her tears. Maybe they wouldn’t want to see her until tomorrow after the opening night performance.

“Engel! Are you alright?”

“I—I’m f—‍” Before she could say she was fine, she burst into tears, all the while scolding herself. It was her job to please Kurt, not cry on his shoulder. My purpose in life is to provide sexual pleasure to men, according to their desires. The remembrance of that truth made her cry even harder.

“Engel, where are you?”

She couldn’t stop crying long enough to speak, and dug her fingernails into her palms. Stop crying! You have a job to do!

“Anna, are you alright? Are you hurt?”

After a moment of digging her fingernails into her palms, she swallowed hard and managed to squeak out a reply. “I’m okay. Just... sad.”

“You sound more than sad, Engel. Where are—Oh, never mind. Stay where you are. I will come get you.” He ended the call and Anna stared at the phone for a moment, before leaning her head back and stare up at the roof of her car. Kurt was coming to find her. She needed to be ready to please him. How he would find her, though, she had no idea.

She thought about driving away, but that would be foolish. Kurt would tell Devin she’d avoided him and then she’d be in trouble. It had been months since Devin had punished her and she wanted to keep it that way.

Closing her eyes, she let her mind drift over the memories of the last few wonderful months she’d spent with Ben. Going out to dinner, laughing, watching movies, making love. He loved her for who she was—or who he thought she was. Who she wanted to be. But it was all a lie. Her heart squeezed. She’d hidden the most important part of her—the part that belonged to Devin.

She swiped at the tears. No wonder Ben hated her. She deserved his scorn. His derision.

Ben had accused her of cheating on Devin with him. Was it true? Was it even possible? Cheating... There wasn’t any such thing in the world of The Brotherhood. Sex was a commodity, a common activity that everyone did with anyone they wanted. Even Tom, who clearly loved his wife more than anything else in the world, had sex with Anna. There was no such thing as monogamy in The Brotherhood.

She should have known better than to get involved with Ben. Regret washed over her as she realized that the pain she had inflicted upon him could have been prevented had she just been honest with from the beginning. He would have rejected her and gone on with his life. Oh, but the temptation to be a normal young woman had been too powerful to resist.

And now look what happened.

She shook her head. At least Ben knew now. And he could move on with his life and forget about her. It was for the best.

Oh, but it hurt!

A knock on the window made Anna jump. Kurt stooped by her car window, his face filled with concern. She opened the door, and he pulled her to her feet and enveloped her in his arms. She tried not to cry, but the tears slipped out, anyway. At least she wasn’t uncontrollably sobbing now. He murmured something in German and walked her around to the passenger side. He fastened her seatbelt, then squeezed himself into the driver’s side and drove away.

She stared at her hands, ashamed. He shouldn’t be taking care of her like this. She should be taking care of him. “Where are we going?”

“The hotel.” He put his hand on her knee. “I am worried about you, Engel. You are very pale. Are you sick?”

“No,” she whispered. She stared out the window as Kurt drove through the city. A few minutes later, Kurt pulled up in front of the Ritz-Carlton, the elegant white hotel not far from her apartment. A valet opened her door and Kurt hurried around to help her out of the car. He took her hand and led her into the hotel, to the elevators, and up to his hotel suite.

“Anna! What happened?” Wilhelm hurried over to her and hugged her to him.

Anna closed her eyes as their concern for her wrapped around her like a warm blanket. She pressed her head against Wilhelm’s soft dress shirt and inhaled his comforting, familiar scent. She’d somehow forgotten how much Kurt and Wilhelm—especially Wilhelm—had always had a calming effect on her soul.

Wilhelm led her over to the couch, and he sat her down next to him. “Anna, Liebling, tell us what happened.”

Kurt took a seat on the couch opposite them. Anna stared at his knees as she recounted her relationship with Ben and the events of the evening. Anna hung her head, clasping her hands in her lap, her voice hoarse from crying. When she was finished, Wilhelm pulled her back into his arms, tenderly stroking her hair.

“I am sure he will call you soon,” Kurt said in a soothing voice. “No one could give you up so easily. Not if he truly loves you.”

“How could he forgive me for something like that? I... cheated on him. I lied to him.”

“Being forced to have sex with another man is hardly cheating,” Wilhelm said. “You did not choose your life.”

---