Page 258 of The Life of Anna-Tenth Anniversary Edition: Act 1

There was a long pause, and then, “No.”

Hot tears filled her eyes and she clenched her free hand. Her jaw trembled, wanting to yell and scream at him for abandoning her for months and then expecting her to drop everything—including her boyfriend—so he could see her and do who knew what to her. “Don’t you have an Elder-Mistress in Germany?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your normal sex slaves aren’t good enough, so you need me to come and take care of you?” Her chest heaved with indignation.

Another pause. “Anna, that’s not—‍” He sighed. “I am not having you come here so I can have sex with you. I want to see you and spend time with you.”

“What if I don’t want to see you?”

The answering silence was heavy and went on for so long that she pulled the phone away from her head to see if he’d hung up. He hadn’t.

When he finally spoke, his words were low and clipped. “The family jet will be waiting at the airport after your last performance. Greg will pick you up from the theater and bring you here.”

The phone went silent again and she looked to see that this time he really had hung up.

She stared at the floor for a long time. Her hands shook and her phone slipped from her grasp and fell to the carpet with a loud thud. Her knees gave way and she followed her phone, burying her face in her hands.

Why? Why was he calling now after so many months of ignoring her? Her heart reached out to his as tears streamed down her cheeks. Piercing pain in her chest made her groan and she dug her fingers into the thick carpet. She didn’t want to see him! And yet, she longed to see him. To feel his arms around her. To hear him speak tenderly to her.

She pounded her fist on the floor. She hated him! And she loved him. Why had he left her alone with Devin? No, Devin hadn’t been terrible these last few months, but he’d killed her! He’d tortured her to death and Alex hadn’t been around to stop him or comfort her after she returned. He probably didn’t even know what Devin had done to her.

Why had he abandoned her? Alex didn’t even care enough to punish her for talking back to him. Not even after she’d slapped Greg. She should have been punished severely for those misdeeds, but she’d gotten away with it. Which only confused her more. If he didn’t care enough about her to punish her into submission when she misbehaved, why was he making her come to him?

Falling to her side, she stared blankly at the door to the bathroom. Though she wanted to scream and cry, she knew it would do no good.

How would she tell Ben she had to go to Germany for who-knew-how-long?

The wall she’d built to keep her two lives separate—one of The Brotherhood and one of being a ballerina and Ben’s girlfriend—was crumbling. How much longer would it survive? She’d convinced Devin to let Ben take her home to meet his family at Thanksgiving. But how did she explain going to Germany to Ben? Another family friend? And what if Alex moved back to San Francisco? He’d said he was only going back to Germany for a few months, and it had been a few months.

She had to tell Ben the truth about herself. With Alex coming back into the picture, even if only for a trip to Germany, she couldn’t continue to hide who and what she was. Ben deserved to know the truth, no matter what it cost her.

But how did she tell him?

Chapter 122

The Wednesday before opening night of The Nutcracker, Anna woke with a broken heart. She’d been putting it off, but she couldn’t wait any longer to tell Ben the truth about herself. Night after night she’d lain in his bed, trying to figure out the best way to tell him, imagining the conversation—the disgust on his face—when she told him the truth. And that image—Ben’s face twisted in disgust—was what she went to sleep thinking about. In the morning, when he kissed her awake, she did everything she could to push the terrible thoughts away, and when she got back to her apartment, she cried. The idea of losing him tore her heart to shreds. But every moment—every precious moment—she spent with him made her deception more and more bitter in her mouth.

No matter what, she had to tell him. Today. Opening night was upon her and Wilhelm and Kurt were coming to visit.

She was backstage during dress rehearsal, contemplating the terrible task, when Ben called. “Hey, love.” Ben’s voice was filled with excitement. “Are you in the middle of something?”

She forced a smile. “Just hanging out, waiting for the first act to finish. Why? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything is more than okay. We won!”

“Oh, Ben!” Anna beamed, her joy at his success pushing aside her dread. “Oh, I’m so happy for you! You’ve been working so hard on that case!”

“Thanks, love.”

Anna dropped her voice seductively. “We should celebrate.”

“Yes, definitely. But first, the team is going out for drinks at Massey’s. When do you think you’ll be done with rehearsal?”

“This is our last run through for the day. Should be done in about an hour.”

“Wonderful. Do you want to meet me there? You can meet my team.”

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