Page 175 of Master of My Heart

“I had sex with Richard?” she asked. “And Tom?”

Theo nodded.

Her heart fell. What would Chase think about that?

“They did it to protect you, Sabrina. Chase will understand.”

“How can he possibly understand?” she asked, exasperated at his calmness. “We have a fight, then I go and sleep with his father-figure and another guy, but he’ll be okay with that?” She let out a harsh laugh. “I suppose I can honestly say I don’t remember it.” She stared at the floor. She was upset with Chase about the idea of him being with other women, but she went and did the same thing. How could he ever forgive her for what she did?

“Sabrina, I can see what you and Chase argued over. May I offer my insight?”

She nodded, not looking up.

“Ultimately, you are upset about having to share him with other women, yes?”

She thought about Theo’s summary and realized that was the ultimate issue. She didn’t want to share Chase. “I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”

“For normal women, I agree. But you are not a normal woman. You are Koriathanati. You know you have strong sexual desires. You know you enjoy unusual sex. Sabrina, you need to accept that about yourself and embrace it. Chase is the type of man who will embrace it and help you explore it.”

“So he can sleep around?” she snapped.

“So you can be your true self,” he corrected gently. “And, yes, so he can perform his duties of the Brotherhood.”

“I’m supposed to sit home while he comes here and has sex with other women?”

“That is your choice. But you are always welcome to participate. You would even be able to come to the formal Gatherings and see what they are like. Wives are normally not allowed.”

Sabrina rubbed her temple. “I just want a normal relationship. I just want to be normal.”

“But you are not normal, Sabrina. You must accept that. Otherwise, you will spend your life trying to be what you cannot ever be.”

“What am I?” Sabrina asked after a few minutes of silence. “Is it foolish to want to get married and have a human life if I’m not human?”

“All Immortals have a tiny spark of humanity inside them,” Theo said solemnly. “It is how we were made. With the spark of human life, Kronos created us all. And because of that, somewhere deep inside, we all envy humanity with all its weaknesses. Humans have capabilities and depths we can only dream of.” He smiled. “You are the type of Immortal we all wish we could be. In tune with our humanity, yet with powers of an Immortal. Humans seem to want to be Immortal, and Immortals wish to be human. It has always been this way. This is why we interact with them. To see the part of ourselves that can never be.” He leaned back in his chair. “Is it foolish to have your desires? Not in the least. It is natural. And you have the ability to fulfill your dreams. Fear is natural, but you must not give in to it. Giving in to fear feeds the power of evil. It keeps you from doing the thing you know you should. It allows evil to win when good must win.”

“How do I know that marrying Chase is a good thing?”

“How could it be a bad thing?”

“Wouldn’t it be better to just become one of those Mistress things and work with the Elders? Isn’t that a better choice?”

Theo smiled. “Love is always the better choice. Love can take on evil unlike anything else. If you didn’t love Chase, I would counsel you to go under Richard’s care and serve him. But you do love Chase and he loves you. That is stronger than anything that might attack you. That is why marriage is such a strong bond. Love offers protection that can compare to nothing else in this world.”

Wait a second...”Chase loves me?”

He smiled. “You do not know that already?”

“He hasn’t told me.”

“What is love if it is not shown? Love is more than words. Words are meaningless without action. He shows he loves you with his actions. He will tell you when the time is right.”

Sabrina stared into the fire for a long moment. Chase loved her. She loved him. She sighed. It should make her happy, but it seemed to only confuse her more.

“If that Master wants me so badly, can’t you just, I don’t know, make me human so I’m useless to him?”

“Make you human?”

“The diamonds. They pull out the Immortality.” It hurt like hell, but if it kept others safe...

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