Page 48 of Free

“No. I never dreamed in a million years Jamie would do somethin’ like this. Fuck, I wish I would have known sooner.”

“He … he gave me and Bunny the drugs. I was supposed to run, but she …” Fuck me. I can’t listen to this. Not now.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you. You did what you had to do,” I tell her. She looks up at me with big green eyes full of tears before her lips part.

“You’re not?”

“No. I could never be mad over somethin’ that was my fault. If I didn’t make that shit, he couldn’t have used it against you. It’s my fuck up,” I reassure her. She nods her head slowly before leaning back into me. I keep her held tightly in my arms as we move to the front of the van and climb in. I’ll get one of the prospects to ride my bike back to the clubhouse. Right now, she needs me. Right now, I need her.

With her held in my arms, I feel content. I feel like things are right back where they are supposed to be. I don’t know whether she wants to stay with me or not, but the thought of letting her go is eating me up inside.

I watch as the guys filter out, a few staying behind to clean things up here while the rest of us head back to the clubhouse with our girls.

I don’t speak as we go. I just hold onto Addison as tightly as I can letting her know that whatever happened back there stays back there. Nothing is going to happen to her now. I’m done. I’m finished with the drugs.

Chapter 25

Addison

I’ve ignored her. I can’t look at her the same even if I wanted to. What happened wasn’t part of the deal, and even a month later, I’m not over it.

Free gave me the choice to leave or stay. He was sending me back to a life I wasn’t sure I wanted before and I know I didn’t fit into now. Of course, I’ve talked to my family on a regular basis, but I couldn’t picture myself going home to nothing.

Staying here was my choice. What wasn’t my choice was what my role would be here. Free made it clear no one would touch me, not even him, if I didn’t want them to. But all I seem to want is him. Although I still feel guilty for what happened with Bunny.

“Why won’t you talk to her?” Free asks as we sit in the back of the room cradling beers.

“What happened there should have never happened,” I tell him.

“You wanna talk about it? I’m not holdin’ shit against you, Addison. Not where the drugs are concerned.”

“I was supposed to run, Free, but she had other plans. I couldn’t stop myself,” I explain. It must all click into place because he nods his head and shifts in his seat.

“I knew she had a thing for you, and she used that to her advantage. You’re right. Even on the drugs, she shouldn’t have done that.”

“But did she really have a choice? Jamie was there, and the drugs were running through our veins. I don’t know how well she could control it,” I tell him.

“Bunny has used the drugs a lot. She can control it, I’ve seen her. She didn’t want to, Addison. She used you.” With that, my heart sinks in my chest. I’ve thought about it over and over again. Why would she do it? I always came up blank or blamed it on the drugs, but hearing Free say she could control it hurts even worse.

“I thought she was my friend, Free.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And it doesn’t bother you? What we did?”

“It does, but there’s nothin’ I can do about it now. It’s over, yeah?”

“Yeah. I would never do that again,” I tell him truthfully.

“Then we’re good, baby. Don’t worry about it.”

“I do, though. It makes me feel dirty.”

“I can make you dirty,” he teases me. My cheeks heat from his words before I do something I probably shouldn’t. I grab his face and press my lips to his and kiss the man. I kiss him like I might never get the chance again. I kiss him like this may be the last time. I savor every second of it when I hear someone yell, “Get a room.” Free chuckles against my lips before he looks me in the eyes.

“You wanna go back to my room?”

“Thought it was our room?”

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