Page 15 of When it Sizzles

Which means, if WE don’t know where she is, NO ONE knows where she is.

Binx: Shit.

Mel: Yeah. Shit. Big shit. I’m calling her. If she doesn’t answer, I’m going over to her place. And if I can’t find her there, I’m going to the police station to report her missing.

Binx: Oh my God, you don’t think she’s missing, do you? I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask the guy’s name. I was distracted by the wedding reception, but still, you’re right. That should have been the first order of business before anyone went looking for condoms. I can’t believe I dropped the big sister ball like this.

Mel: I want to tell you it’s okay, but I’m not sure it is okay. Guess we’ll find out in a few minutes. I’m going to call her now.

Wendy Ann: Do NOT call me. Please. I’m fine. I’m at home and will respond to all of this later.

Binx: Oh, thank God. You’re okay! Yay! Jesus, my arms are shaking. I really didn’t want to get on that plane without knowing you were still alive.

Mel: Yes, thank God, but no way are you making us wait for more information. At least tell us if last night was okay. Did you have a good time? Or was he awful? Did you decide to go home with him with a clear head or were you drunk at the time? You really should have made sure she wasn’t drunk, Binx.

Binx: She wasn’t drunk! I could tell. Geez.

Wendy Ann: No, she shouldn’t have made sure I wasn’t drunk. That’s MY job. I’m a fully grown adult capable of making my own decisions, but I’m also asleep right now.

Please let me sleep. I didn’t get home until two in the morning, and I didn’t get to sleep until almost three. I can’t function on three hours of sleep. That’s why I didn’t party in college.

Brain is porridge.

Mushy smushy porridge…*snoring face emoji*

Mel: Wow. Two a.m. Must have been a good night.

Binx: And not asleep until three. What were you doing for an hour after you got home? Taking a long, sexy shower with the waterproof toy I bought you for a graduation present as you replayed every moment of your steamy one-night stand?

Mel: What?! You bought our sister a vibrator for a graduation present?

Binx: I did. Every girl should have one. Don’t shame me.

Mel: I’m not shaming you. I’m jealous. You never bought me a sex toy.

Binx: That’s because you’re the big sister in our relationship. I assumed you already had your own collection. Or that your husband was taking care of your needs.

Mel: Oh, he does, but toys are still fun. He’s out of town playing hockey a lot, you know.

Binx: Noted. I’ll place an order for your birthday.

Mel: Thank you. I mean, I have a few already, but it would be nice to see what you pick out. You have great taste in things like that.

Binx: Thank you. I appreciate your appreciation. I would also appreciate Wendy Ann giving us a name before she goes back to sleep. WENDY ANN! GIVE US A NAME AND THEN WE’LL LET YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Wendy Ann: No. Go away. I’m unconscious.

Mel: You’re not unconscious, and Binx is right. We need a name. What if he decides to come over and kill you this morning?

Wendy Ann: He’s not going to come over and kill me this morning.

Binx: You never know. Fifty percent of the male population is flat out bonkers with a penchant for violence.

Mel: I would say more than fifty percent. Especially unmarried men over thirty-five. You should see the psychos who popped up in my dating apps when I was trying that shit. *shudder* Was this guy unmarried and over thirty-five, Wendy Ann?

Wendy Ann: I hate you both.

Binx: No, you don’t. You love us. We’re your biggest fans and supporters. Just give us a name, precious little sweet baby sister friend, and we promise we’ll leave you alone until this afternoon.

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