Page 20 of A Wrecking of Salt and Fire

“What?” Her question was the softest of whispers. A hoarse breath of air more than a word.

“I said, maybe there is something you could do. To show me you’re sorry, to show me you love me.” Kohl inched farther toward her again, until there was no place to go, no possible escape. “It almost happened the other night, it almost happened before you stabbed me. You seemed more than willing to give yourself up then. Why not now?”

“Kohl…I didn’t…Kohl, please.” Katrin could see the glassiness in his eyes was still there. Like he didn’t really know what he was saying, what he was asking her to do. A piercing pain hit in the pit of her stomach. She might be sick. It was the injury, the tonic, that made him act this way. This wasn’t her Kohl. Her Kohl would have understood. Would have let her take care of him, not lash out with accusations and foul words. Not try to make her do that.

“Even after the gods take us, isn’t that what we always say? I love you, Katrin. Don’t you love me?” He grazed his lips up her neck trailing a warm breath to her ear. Where she used to shiver in anticipation, she did so now in fear.

Katrin’s hands began to shake. “Of course I do.” But at that moment she wasn’t sure she meant the words. He needed to slide out of this state, back to the Kohl she knew. Back to the Kohl she trusted. Unless this was who he really was. Unless he masked his true self all these years.

“Then show me.” Kohl began to unlace his trousers and push up the hem of Katrin’s tunic. “Show me that you love me. Show me that you can perform the duties of a wife.”

“Kohl…” She peered into his eyes, trying to pull the anger out, trying to show him the fear that she was feeling. The words didn't even sound like him. They sounded like his father. What he said at the banquet.

“Please, Katrin…” A single tear laced down his darkened cheek.

All these months, all these years, he was the one who protected her, who took care of her, and pieced her back into the strong woman who was set to rule this kingdom. Was it really his fault if he triggered her with words she never told him haunted her? Was it his fault that he then got angry when she stabbed him? She was still sick over the thought. What was one night? One night where she pretended. One night where she could piece him back together, not the other way around.

“Ok.” She nodded. “Ok, Kohl.”

He thrust his lips toward hers in a messy and violent kiss. Shoving her back on the bed, lifting the hem of her shirt up and slipping her pants down to her ankles so he could slide himself in.

Then he entered her again and again as she tried to lay as still as possible. Even though Katrin knew the person above her was Kohl, when she dared to look at his face all she could see was the man with red eyes. His evil glare, his toothy smile, his sweaty palms pinning her down so she couldn’t move. “Do you like that, Princess?” The words she heard over and over again in her mind.

She wished it would be over fast, almost feeling guilty for thinking that. Like Kohl said, it was her duty once she was his wife, so why not try to get over her fear now? She always stopped before it got this far, always came up with an excuse. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to be fully intimate with him, it was just that she wasn’t ready. Not healed enough in herself to give that part away again. She always expected him to be the one she’d be ready for. She almost was until the nightmares started again. But with it so fresh in her mind, intimacy of that kind seemed dirty and vile and wrong.

She didn’t expect him to be so rough with her the first time. There was no build up, no sweet whispers in her ear. It was as if the emotion from their argument overpowered Kohl’s usual romantic demeanor even after she consented. Like he was fueled by anger and not by love. Like the tonic stripped all his good qualities and emotions away. Numbed his wound and his heart.

Minutes went by before he finished and rolled off her. Placing one now gentle kiss on her cheek.

A light rap came from the other side of the bedroom door. Usually she was annoyed by Ajax’s frequent interruptions, but this time she was glad. All she wanted was to be alone. To not see the conquest in Kohl’s eyes. To not let him see the shame and sadness in hers.

“Excuse me, Prince Kohl, but your father wishes to speak with you. He says it’s an urgent matter.” Ajax knew better than to enter the room of the prince, so he waited on the other side of the door.

“I’ll be back soon, my lovely Aikaterine.” Kohl brushed her hair back from her face, leaving a kiss atop her head. Katrin could feel the dizziness hit, the metallic taste forming in her mouth. Regret, shame, nausea, loss—all her emotions blurred into one. She closed her eyes and nodded, trying to force a smile on her weary face. Katrin couldn’t help but hope he would not return at all.

Chapter Thirteen

Kohl

Kohl entered the small study in between the guest wing where his father was staying and where his room lay near Katrin’s wing. King Athanas lit small candles around the room giving it an eerie glow. His father’s face was in the shadows, the chair he sat in turned away from the door. Papers were strewn about the desk in front of him, a map of the continents lay next to them. Tiny wooden ships were staged across the isles. Kohl’s eyes widened, a war map.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to grace me with your presence at all. We need to discuss this,” his father said, pointing at the papers in front of him.

“When you beckon in the middle of the night, you shouldn’t expect me to come running,” Kohl seethed. Right now all he wanted was to be back in bed with his future wife, but instead he dealt with whatever this was. And his head, how it was pounding from that stupid tonic. Yes, it dulled his pain in his shoulder, but it made his vision blurry, his mind cloudy. His eyes clenched shut as he tried to push out the incessant throbbing, only made worse by his father’s dry tone.

“You will watch your tone when speaking to me, my boy. Remember why you are even here in the first place.” Kohl did remember and he was grateful to his father to some degree, but this place was going to be his, not King Athanas’s kingdom.

“Sorry, Father.” One day, one day soon, Kohl would no longer feel like he was wrapped around his father’s finger.

“There is much to discuss, Kohl. About you, about Katrin, about the isles.” He shuffled through the papers again, looking for one in particular. “The Acknowledgement is set to take place, and there will be representatives from all the surrounding isles. Am I correct in assuming you can keep them in line? That things will go smoothly?”

Kohl looked at his father with a curious expression as he paced back and forth in front of the fire. “Are you to believe that it shouldn’t, Father?”

“I believe Nexos is poised to strike and this would be the best opportunity for them to do so with no consequences.” A flicker of anger flashed through the King’s eyes. “If that happens, I need you to be prepared for the Wrecking.”

Kohl spun around from in front of the fireplace. The Wrecking. It would not get to that. No one would challenge Katrin’s succession to the throne. And even if they did, no one could beat her. At this point, even Kohl found it difficult to keep up with her when they would spar.

“Katrin is perfectly capable of fighting in the Wrecking, Father. I would not need to volunteer for it.”

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