Marc had suggested to me many times to try therapy again, but I still felt uncomfortable sharing my darkest thoughts with a complete stranger.
The only two people I could open up to right now were Nitro and Dylan.
“Hello, earth to Tommy.” Dylan’s voice sounded very far away.
My thoughts started to stray, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Nitro and I had two girls in the future.
Scratch that, I thought, watching a shy boy approach the girls. Maybe a boy and a girl?
Then I remembered I couldn’t have children. Not anymore.
The brief burst of joy I initially felt soon faded, and I tasted ashes on my tongue.
I tentatively touched my flat stomach.
Omegas were the only shifter species capable of bearing shifter children, but Hicks took care of that little problem a few years ago.
Back then, after I had my first miscarriage, I thought being fixed was a blessing in disguise.
I didn’t want to bring a child into my hellish world, but now, things were different.
I was free, in a relationship with a man I loved, and I was learning how to live again.
It was downright unfair that I wouldn’t be able to give something so precious to Nitro in the future.
I mean, we haven’t talked that far yet, but I hated the fact that option had been robbed from us.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and Dylan grasped my arm. The pain brought me back to reality.
“Tommy, what’s wrong?” Dylan asked, concern in his voice.
“Nothing,” I blurted. “Just thinking of silly stuff.”
“It doesn’t look that way to me,” Dylan said softly.
I quickly picked up the paper napkin on the table and used it to rub at my eyes.
Dylan, Nitro, and the rest of my new circle of friends in Moon Burrow were beyond understanding.
They knew about my situation, but the last thing I wanted was to have a break-down at my workplace.
Besides, I loved teaching, and I couldn’t afford to lose this job. The kids didn’t deserve a mentally unstable teacher either.
“Nitro volunteered to stay the night or at least until I fell asleep,” I said, continuing our conversation from before.
Dylan looked at me for a long moment, then blew out a breath. My best friend knew when to press and when to withdraw.
What Hicks took from me was private. It wasn’t something I was willing to share with anyone just yet.
“Stay the night over. Is that a code word for anything?” Dylan asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me.
A wave of relief filled me. Dylan was willing to play along, and I appreciated that.
“Not at all. We haven’t moved to that part yet,” I said. “Nitro said he’s willing to take things slow when it comes to us.”
“And what do you think?” Dylan asked me, taking a bite out of his BLT sandwich.
I stole a chip from his packet and slowly munched on it while I debated how to answer Dylan’s question.