Page 60 of Shattered Echoes

And then, blessedly, he heaves out a shuddering exhale on his end. "God, yes," he gasps, voice sheared and raw. "More than anything, Col. I want— no, I need a chance to undo the harm I've caused. To prove that I'm not the self-serving, narcissistic monster, my actions would suggest.

"I just— I don't even know where to make amends," he whispers, voice pitched low and thick with regret. "All I can hope is that you really give me a chance to try, Colette. Please. I need you back in my life more than I've ever needed anything."

"I want to figure this out… As long as you're willing to let me set the pace."

A noise filters across the line, halfway between relief and a swallowed sob.

"Anything, I'll do anything you ask of me, Colette. Just…just promise you won't shut me out again."

"I promise."

The knot of tension and turmoil that has been twisting inside me for months now unravels, each errant strand sloughing away until I feel almost deliriously weightless.

I am at peace, in a way I haven't experienced in far too long. I sag back against Antonio as he wraps me in his arms. Henry and I continue murmuring back and forth for several drawn-out minutes, the flow shifting from recriminations into more familiar waters.

"Tell me something, Col," he prompts when the line goes quiet. "What's this about Antonio?"

Antonio stiffens at the mention of his name. I swallow hard, but before I can speak, he takes the phone from my hand and clears his throat. “Hi, Henry. Antonio here.”

“Antonio,” Henry says after a brief pause. “I should have known you’d be close by.” There’s a sharp edge to his words I recognize. He’s still upset about the relationship.

“I don’t want to fight you, Henry. You wanted to know what was going on between Col and me, and I thought it would be better if I was the one who told you.”

“No. There’s something I need to get off my chest first.” Henry sighs before continuing. “It was fucked up bringing up your addiction and your problems the way I did—”

“Hey, Henry,” Antonio cuts in. “Nothing to apologize for. You were right—”

“Fucking let me finish, man! Look, you’re my best friend in the world, and what I said… There’s no fucking excuse. Friends help each other when they struggle, not rub their shit in their faces. And that’s what I did. I’m sorry, brother.”

Antonio shuts his eyes and inhales. They need this moment together, and it would be better to give them some privacy. I untangle myself from Antonio’s embrace and kiss him on the forehead.

I need to shower after the tumble in the sheets with Antonio, but if I stay here to do it, I’d be too tempted to listen in. I decide to just go home.

“I’m gonna head to mine quick,” I mouth to Antonio as I pull on my clothes. He nods and grabs his clothes as well. I head to the door as he dresses himself.

“Look, Henry,” I hear Antonio say from the door. “This thing with Colette… I know you’re worried about us being together right now, especially with what we’re both going through. But I assure you, she makes me stronger. She’s the only reason I can function right now. She’s been a wall for me through this journey…”

I miss the rest of what he says. I rush out of the bedroom, my heart beating fast in my chest.

20

Antonio

As Colette excuses herself from our conversation, going into the kitchen, I can't help but feel a surge of relief flooding through me. Henry. My best friend. The one person who has always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve it.

I can't believe we're talking again after everything that's happened. Knowing that I still have someone in my corner, someone who knows me better than anyone else, feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I draw in a steadying breath, gathering my thoughts before plunging ahead. "Colette has been helping me through everything, Henry."

"It's clear that she's had a profound impact on you, Antonio," Henry says, his voice softening with understanding. "I've never seen you like this before."

I nod, even though I know Henry can't see me. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I continue, the words tumbling out in a rush.

There's a pregnant pause on the other end of the line as Henry considers his response.

"How serious are you about her, Antonio? I mean, really?" he asks at last, his voice firm.

"I'm serious, Henry," I say with as much sincerity as I can muster. "More serious than I've ever been about anyone else."

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