Page 54 of The Funnel to You

“I’d be honored. Can we add this to the itinerary tomorrow to go over together?”

“Absolutely. Get some rest tonight and we will see you at the office at nine tomorrow.”

With that, Ashley and I grab an Uber back to the hotel – the whole time I am trying not to spiral into a panic attack. I can’t do this. I have to do this. But I can’t. This is too much.

I don’t even realize that we have made it to the hotel and are back in our room. I have been so focused on the previous conversation that I haven’t paid attention to what is around me.

“Dresses. We need to go get dresses. Where are we supposed to get gowns in the time we have before the gala?” I breathe out once I sit on the edge of my bed. Ashley is already on her laptop.

“I found a place that has open appointments for rentals tomorrow at four. Can we make that work?”

“I think so. Do we need anything else?”

“Probably jewelry and shoes and stuff but they have all of that. We can do our own hair and makeup so we don’t have to worry about that. Do we want to try to get a nail appointment?”

“If we can. Worst case scenario, we can grab a bottle of polish and do that on our own on Thursday – having another person do them is best but we can make do. I need to go take a shower and reset myself a bit. I am already freaking out about this thing and we still have so much to do this week.”

“Okay. Take a few minutes and breathe. It’s going to be great. You know what we are doing and why we are doing it. I know this was a surprise, but you are amazing and the fact that they asked for you tells me that they have every faith in you that you can do this.”

I nod and go into the bathroom. I miss Matt. I feel so alone even with Ashley here. I make quick work of taking a shower and then getting ready for bed. I add a few extra steps to my nighttime skincare routine so I can really take the time to prepare mentally for bed. When I peek out into the room, Ashley is sleeping.

I take a deep breath and stare down at my phone. I may regret this, but I need to talk to him.

Chapter Forty-One

Matt

Blackberry Lavender White Mocha

Social Post: I’ve been learning how to add @sashaloveslipstick grounding practice into my routines too. Having the time to just be still has made a big difference in the moments when I normally get overwhelmed with all the things I can be working on. #sashaloveslipstick #groundingpractice #entrepreneur #mindset

Image Description: Notebook open on desk with a few affirmations listed.

My phone rings at eight while I am working on staining the new coffee cabinet from Luca. He did a great job on this thing and I hope I will be able to show Sasha when she gets back. I had asked him to make this for me before she found out everything and it’s been nice to work on something while my girls are gone.

I wipe off my hands and glance over to see that Sasha is calling me. I momentarily think the worst – it may be Ashley calling me because something happened.

“Is everything okay?”

“Um hey, Matt. Yeah, we’re good. How are you?” Her voice is quiet. She sounds scared.

“I’m okay. Working on some house stuff. Sorry for the initial start to that. I freaked out for a second. It’s good to hear from you. What’s wrong? You sound nervous.” I make my way to the kitchen to rinse off my hands and then go sit on my couch. I’ve missed talking to my Sunshine so much.

“I just found out that the dinner on Friday night is actually a gala. 1,500 people, Matt. And I’ve been asked to speak. I have to present and tell people about Pink Every Day and what I am hoping to accomplish and how am I supposed to do that? I am not qualified for this. I can’t do this. I’m not that girl. I’m just a social media influencer who wants to help other people out. I’m not a business woman or CEO or celebrity. This isn’t me.”

“Hey, love. Take a moment. You are absolutely all of that. You are a makeup influencer. But you are so much more than that. You have taken your platform and position to do so much! Over the last two years I have seen you step into your confidence on your channel as you reach out to more people. You have taught new influencers how to find their voice. You have empowered businesses to start community efforts to support other people. You have encouraged new moms to take care of themselves and reminded them that self care isn’t selfish. You have shown companies that they don’t have to cut corners in order to keep customers happy.” I take a breath and continue, she needs to hear this from me.

“And you have shown me how absolutely incredible you are every moment of every day that you have allowed me to be in your presence. You can get on that stage. You can share your heart. Because that’s exactly what you will be doing – you are sharing your passion. Don’t think of it as a pitch or a presentation. Think of it as you sitting at your makeup desk, chatting with your followers about what you love and what you hope to accomplish. That is the Sasha everyone loves. Show them who you are. I love you for that person. And they will too.”

She’s quiet for several moments and I know she is taking it all in. I didn’t mean to totally monologue on her but she needed to hear that. I needed her to hear that from me.

“How do you always know what I need to hear?” She finally whispers.

“Because. I know you, Sasha.”

Chapter Forty-Two

Sasha

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