Page 50 of The Funnel to You

With that, I give her a hug and lock up the door. Then I grab a glass of rosé and head to go soak my sorrow away in the tub – hopefully with lots of bubbles. Kylie is just turning off the water when I enter the bathroom.

“Okay love, have some quiet time and holler if you need me, but otherwise I will see you in the morning.” Kylie says as she begins walking towards my door.

“Thank you so much,” I pause for a moment, remembering something else I haven’t talked to her about yet, “Can I ask you something about the Halloween party?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“You felt a little off when Carter brought up the whole marriage and baby thing. Did something happen?”

Kylie’s face falls even more than it was before and now I’m second guessing asking her about this. “We had a pregnancy scare a few months ago. I was just coming to terms that I might be ready to be a mom and he was so excited when it was negative when I finally was able to test. He then went off a little bit on how he may never want kids and now I think I may want them. So I’m just processing through things and trying to figure that out. Especially with his promotion things are a little weird right now so I’m hoping that we can give it some time and then talk about it again.”

“I’m sorry hon, I can’t even imagine. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“I didn’t want to bother you over something that wasn’t actually happening. But it’s going to be okay and we now have to focus on getting you rested and ready for New York so go enjoy that bath and wine and I will chat with you later, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks Kylie. Love you babe.”

“Love you too.”

Thanksgiving comes and goes with no issues. I get a text from Martha asking how I am doing and reminding me that I have an open invite at her house. I haven’t heard from Matt since the day of the meeting. The day I found out everything.

Things have been quiet, but it’s been good. I have been pouring my energy into this project and getting things ready for New York. I cannot wait to start this initiative on a bigger scale and see what we are going to be able to accomplish together.

Black Friday was nuts, but that was to be expected. I opened so I was at the store at 4 AM for the 5 AM open. Hardware is one of the biggest departments because of all the power tools and we exceeded my goals. Going out with a bang was the goal and we hit that! My team did a great job and a lot of my customers came in to say hello since tomorrow is my last day officially.

I’ve told management and the person taking over for me that I am a phone call away if they have questions during the official transition. Luckily, there won’t be mass quantities of new product coming in for a while so he will have some time to adjust to the layout before he has to do any big changes.

Saturday morning comes sooner than I am ready for it. I have been so excited for my last day at Home Depot for months. And it’s finally here. But part of me is so nervous. Can I actually do this? Stepping into this role of influencer, consultant, and business partner is happening officially when I go to New York. And I know I can’t manage a job and those commitments. I have to choose.

Ready or not, here we go.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Matt

Honey Chamomile Tea Latte

Social Post: Looks like it’s finally decided to snow. Time to switch the fall décor to something a little more festive. #coloradochristmas #whitechristmas #novemberpics #noco

Image description: Snow dusting on the pumpkin on my front steps.

It took everything in me not to show up at the store this morning to congratulate Sasha on her last day. She asked for space and I needed to give her that. I want to give her that. But I miss her so much. She has been my entire world for the last two years. Hell, she still is. My parents were not happy to learn that I had crossed some lines (okay, a lot of lines, but they don’t know that) with Sasha and her business. Thanksgiving at their house was a little intense. Sasha was supposed to be there with me. At least Ashley was there and we had a good dinner together.

I sent a bouquet of flowers for Sasha at the store and am currently watching the delivery tracker. She is supposed to be clocking out in about thirty minutes, so they should get there right before she has to leave. I have a mix of a lot of local flowers – even though it’s cold out – there are several indoor nurseries not too far away that offer Colorado flowers all year long. And I hope she loves these. This is the first time I have sent her something since she asked me to give her space. I hope I’m not overstepping, but I miss her so much and I need her to know that I am thinking about her.

I’ve written to her every day. It’s all in a notebook that I keep at home. Part of me wanted to use regular letters and send them to her but I don’t want to come across like a lost puppy. Am I a lost puppy without her? Absolutely. I just don’t think she needs to see me like this right now. She is focusing on the trip coming up and I am doing what I can to support her, within the boundaries she laid out for me. Doable? Yes. Fun? No. But I’m doing my best with it.

I get the notification that the flowers are on site. I cross my fingers and pray that she accepts the delivery. Or hopefully the front desk will. I included a simple card with it. Just in case someone else read it before handing it to her. I didn’t need any more possible blow ups in regards to our relationship. Ashley is supposed to meet Sasha tonight for dinner so I’ll ask her if the flowers are at the apartment.

Since there’s not much for me to do here at my house, I head over to my parents to help them with their Christmas décor. My mom goes all out with the decorations and I know my dad could use some help with the lights and garlands. And whatever theme my mom chose for this year.

An hour later, I am covered in tinsel and pine needles and I smell like a mix of cinnamon and dust.

“Which set are you using for the main floor this year, mom?” I ask her. We have all the totes down from the attic so she can look through her options and pick her flow for the year. My parents have been increasing their Christmas décor since they got married so now she has a lot of options and can have a cohesive look throughout the house. Christmas is my mom’s hobby and she goes all out every year.

“I think let’s do the bronze and red sets on the main floor this year. And then we can do the gold and silver sets outside and upstairs. Keep it simple this year.”

So glad that’s what she said. Last year she did a Mardi Gras theme and the colors were all over the place. Because most sets didn’t come with all of those colors, we had to pick and choose through so many totes. When it was all done, it was spectacular, but it was not a fun process to get everything out – or put away.

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