Page 2 of The Funnel to You

Is it weird for me? A bit. But for the most part, they keep it pretty PG.

Considering I haven’t had an official boyfriend since high school, I appreciate it. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had a date here or there, but not much after that. Most guys don’t really know how to “categorize” me. By day, I work the hardware aisles at Home Depot – and I’m really good at it. At night, I’m full glam and a complete girlie girl – and I’m really good at that too. One date went so far as to call my mood bipolar. I walked out at that one – let’s not downplay actual mental health diagnosis, okay? Rude.

My passion for makeup gives me the motivation to try to do a “full beat” every day – even at Home Depot. I enjoy makeup and don’t feel bad for being dressed up a bit while I’m at work. I feel like it stretches my creativity to find things that work with the orange apron, horrid lighting, and dry air of the store.

I am just not a one category person. And eventually, I will find where I will focus my time and find the person who appreciates it. And at twenty-eight, I hope it’s soon. I wouldn’t mind being married by thirty-two and a mom by thirty-five…but I’m not stressing about that right now.

Just then my watch buzzes. I check my tracker and see that I have already hit the one-mile mark – that didn’t take long. I’m feeling pretty good so I decide to do three miles today. I look ahead and see the next marker so I know when to turn around to head back home.

Now, where was I with the internal monologue?

Ugh, I really just need to give myself a deadline. I am wearing myself out working forty hours a week plus another twenty on content. It was fun in the beginning when I was just sharing my daily makeup looks and trying new products. Once I started seeing what could happen with a social media following – trips, sponsorships, collaborations, product design – that’s when I started forming the brand of “Sasha Loves Lipstick.”

I tend to work backwards from my goals. It makes it easier for me to set the smaller goals to get to the bigger one. I think once I know my goal date of being done at Home Depot I will be able to create a solid plan for my social media growth and the brands and people I need to connect with.

It’s June third today…. what makes sense for a goal date to be able to quit my job?

Early December should be enough time for me to see what happens with my channel and my brand. If I really focus on growth and those brand partnerships that could turn into paid promotions and possibly even positions. How I get in contact with those people is a question that I will have to answer once I get home.

I need to be bringing in actual income on my makeup content or this officially goes to “hobby” and I will focus on Depot. I can’t keep doing both with full attention. Something has to give. Being devastated by so much lost work and knowing that I don’t have the time or energy to devote to fixing it is not something I want to repeat. I want to be able to work on content with my full attention so things don’t get missed and I don’t forget to hit the save button.

By having a goal of early December that gives me six months. I can do this, right?

Now that I have a goal in mind, I can focus on finishing my walk, being present to what is around me, drinking my water, and trying not to turn this trail into my own personal dance floor. That’s the one problem with a playlist I love – it’s my dance party playlist at home, but my workout one as well. I just need to remember where I am right now.

I get back to the apartment an hour after I originally left and grab my favorite notebook and pen then plop myself onto the couch, cozy blanket on my lap. The texture of the blanket helps me to focus on something outside of myself – another grounding technique. It’s time to map this out a bit more while the ideas are still fresh.

“Good evening, gorgeous,” Kylie says as she walks in the door. She drops her keys and purse on the side table that’s covered in take out menus and junk mail before unpinning her name tag from her restaurant polo and adding it to the pile. Her beautiful brown hair sways behind her as she walks over to sit with me on the couch.

I met Kylie during our senior year in college. We were both taking the same class and she started a conversation with me before every class. We hit it off pretty quickly and decided to get a place together after graduation. Both of us had steady jobs and didn’t want to move back home – so this was the solution. Carter started bartending at the restaurant a few months after graduation and when Kylie heard that he needed a place to stay, we made it work.

Kylie was one of the first people I did makeup on besides myself. Her skin is tanner than mine so I love using new products on her to see how they pop on her skin compared to mine. And more than just my makeup loving self has noticed her hazel eyes. Depending on her mood, what she is wearing, and even the weather – they change colors! It’s every makeup artist’s dream.

She just oozes confidence. She owns her beauty and what she does.

“How are you liking the new BB cream I got you?” I ask her as she settles next to me on the couch.

She takes a sip of her water before responding, “It’s good. I think I liked the last one a little better. It didn’t feel like I was wearing anything on my skin. This one left my skin feeling a little tacky so I may try a different powder over it tomorrow. The restaurant wasn’t busy tonight, but it will be busier tomorrow and I don’t want to sweat it all off. Gross.”

“How was work tonight, besides being slower?” I ask her.

“Decent. I expected it for a Tuesday shift. But I had some regulars so that made it an easy shift, even if the tips were lighter. That also meant I got to sneak a bit more time at the bar with Carter.” She winks at me and I just shake my head. “How was your walk? Get the antsy energy out?”

She knows me so well.

“A little. I lost an entire thirty-minute makeup tutorial and had a mini panic attack over it. The walk helped, but I need to map some things out so I can turn this into more than a hobby. I’m giving myself until the beginning of December to actually be bringing money in with this or I’m hitting that Pivot button.”

“We have a Pivot button??!” She asks with all the excited sarcasm she can muster after an eight-hour shift on her feet dealing with customers and kitchen staff.

I give her a look that tells her I’m not in the mood before responding.

“You know what I mean, babe. I just can’t keep killing myself trying to do everything. I’m exhausted and not able to fully enjoy the makeup content or fully focus on my job because I am thinking about engagement or who to reach out to next. And I don’t even remember the last time I was able to go out and just enjoy myself – or go on a date.”

“I get it. Let me know if you need to talk anything out. And I’m always happy to be used as a product model. You do magic on my face.” She laughs a bit then stands up. “I’m going to go shower before Carter gets home. He’s off in like ten minutes and will be bringing home dinner from work.”

She pauses to make eye contact with me before continuing, “You’re gonna do this Sasha – and we are here to celebrate you every step of the way. Just don’t stress about all the details tonight. You work in the morning and you need your beauty rest if you are going to be able to treat Frank with all the grace and kindness you want tomorrow.”

I sigh. She’s right.

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