Page 88 of Promise Me This

“When I came here, I didn’t really make any preparations. I didn’t know how long I would stay. So I just bought a flight and came as a tourist.” She pauses to let me process this before adding, “I don’t have a visa like last time.”

I shake my head. “What does that mean?”

Her chest rises and falls around a deep breath. A breath full of dust and all the memories this room contains. I’m surprised she gets it down without choking on it all.

“It means I can only stay in the country for three months. Then I have to leave and apply for the appropriate visa in order to return.”

I shift my weight in an attempt to steady myself. “Can’t you do it from here?”

Her eyes tell me the answer before her mouth does.

“I’m so sorry, but no. I was up all night looking for ways around it, Callum. But I have to do it the right way. I can’t risk getting in trouble and not being able to come back at all.”

Her voice vibrates with panic at the idea of being apart from me, from Niamh, permanently. She looks at me, raw with fear that this will be the thing that ends us. The barrier we can’t overcome. After all, wasn’t I the one to tell her my greatest fear was being left behind?

But seeing her panic quells mine. Knowing she’s as scared to lose us as I am to lose her makes my decision the easiest I’ve ever had to make.

This is the woman who fought her demons for me. She bared her soul over the most painful moment of her life, fearing the worst but knowing she had to do it for our daughter. For me. This, her leaving, is my demon to face, and it’s my turn to fight for her.

I take her hands, unraveling them from her stomach, and cradle them between us. First one and then the other are pressed against my lips, and when I finish, tears spill from her eyes.

“The idea of you leaving terrifies me. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. But the idea of you never coming back is worse.” I pull her to me and hold on for dear life. “So here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to enjoy these next few weeks as much as possible, and then I’ll take you to that fucking airport for the very last time, and I’ll be right there waiting when you come home to me. Because this is your home.”

“You’re my home,” she corrects, and then she laces her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck and pulls me down to her.

Every ounce of passion I poured into our kiss before, she gives back to me now tenfold. Her teeth graze against my bottom lip; then her tongue sweeps over to dull the pain. She locks her arms around my neck, and I slide my hands down to cup her arse, lifting her so she’s easier to reach.

Now I can take my time tasting her, enjoying every response my touch elicits. I trace her lips, which are swollen beneath mine, her ear, which draws a sigh from her lips, and her neck, which tightens her thighs around me. I grow hard in response, and I know she feels it. I cling to her as I stumble toward the desk, setting her down in the only clear space and then finding the button for her jeans in the dark.

“Daddy, did you find it?”

Leo’s eyes pop open and lock with mine. We both go still as statues, and she covers her mouth with her hand.

“Not yet, hon, but I’m sure we will soon!” I yell, my voice coming out strained.

“‘We’?”

I stick out my tongue at Leo, who has dissolved into a fit of silent laughter beneath me. “Leo’s here!”

“Hi, Leona!” Niamh calls up, sounding terribly close.

“Hi, Niamh!” Leo replies, voice cracking on my daughter’s name.

“I can come help!” Niamh offers, and then that telltale step on the ladder creaks.

“No!” we yell simultaneously before I add, “It’s too dangerous, love. We’ll be down in just a bit.”

Leo scrambles off the desk, landing beside me with a soft thud. We’re both out of breath and flushed with embarrassment, but when her hand weaves itself into mine and she glances up at me, I’ve never felt more in love.

“Hurry up then, Daddy!” Niamh’s voice sounds farther away, thank God. We both let out a sigh of relief followed by a bark of laughter from Leo.

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” I say, shaking my head. “Welcome to life with a five-year-old.”

“Almost five,” she corrects. She smooths a hand over her hair, trying to hide the evidence of our tryst. “And I’ve never wanted anything more.”

Her smile hits me right in the chest. How will I ever let this woman leave?

Chapter Thirty-Seven

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