Page 77 of Promise Me This

I need a lift.

Podge

One ride, coming your way.

I chuckle despite myself and then shove the phone back into my pocket.

At the foot of the stairs, the sound of Niamh playing in Siobhan’s room drifts to me. I’m halfway tempted to say goodbye to her, but I remind myself it’s not my place. Maybe one day Callum will tell her about her older sister, but it will be his decision. And his decision if he wants to include me in that narrative at all. Soon I’ll be just another faceless guest in her memory, and it’s for the best.

My footsteps echo down the hall, reaching Siobhan at the front desk long before I do. She turns to look, and an expression of acceptance rather than surprise passes over her face.

“That’s it then? You’re leaving us?” she asks, leaning her hip against the check-in counter.

I shrug at the same time my gaze hits the floor. It’s the best I can do to avoid bursting into tears. “It’s about time. I long overstayed my welcome.”

“Nonsense,” she scoffs, drawing my gaze to her. She’s smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’re always welcome here, Leona.”

My heart swells in my chest. Why does leaving feel so like I’m losing something that I can never get back?

“Thank you for everything. I owe you.”

“Are you kidding? As clean as this place is, I’d say you were severely underpaid.” She pinches my shoulder playfully. “Our reviews are going straight for the gutter without you here.”

I laugh half-heartedly, and then silence falls over both of us. Her smile falters.

“Come here, you,” she says and then she grabs me and pulls me in. I pinch the journal to my side so it doesn’t fall as I’m swallowed up by her fierce embrace. Before I realize what’s happening, her mouth finds my ear, and she whispers, “I want you to know that you are an incredibly strong person that was dealt a terrible hand. One that no one can ever be prepared for. You were so young, Leona. You can’t keep punishing yourself.” She pauses for a moment before adding, “You were the absolute best mother you could be to that little girl while you had her.”

She releases me, and I stagger backward. I move the journal over my heart and draw in a jagged breath. “Thank you. I needed that more than you know.”

She nods as if she does in fact know. “You’re doing the best you can now. I can see it. Callum can see it. He just has this filter through which he sees the world, formed by his own bad experiences with his father and Catherine and…well, he’ll get past it, is what I’m trying to say. You both will. Life has been incredibly unfair to you both, but it’s all about to turn around. I promise you that.”

Before I can say anything, the front door swings open behind me. We both turn to see Padraig standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a solemn expression on his face as he examines my luggage.

“Don’t suppose you’re off to the shops, then?” he mumbles.

I shake my head with my lips pressed into a thin line. “I was wondering if you’d take me up to the train station in Killarney so I could skip the bus. I’ll pay, of course.”

He opens his mouth, but when he sees my face, he stops midprotest. Instead he turns to Siobhan. “And you’re just okay with this?”

She shakes her head at him but forces a grim smile onto her face before squeezing me one last time. “Don’t be a stranger, Leona.”

“Thank you again, Siobhan. For everything.”

Padraig looks from her to me in disbelief. “I just want it to be known that I in no way support what is happening here.” He eyeballs my suitcase but then turns to walk away. “In fact, I won’t be carrying your luggage to the car. I’m protesting.”

With a sigh, I hoist the hefty bag over the threshold and follow him to his taxicab, not allowing myself one more word to Siobhan. I’ve been saving my tears for the hardest goodbye. I can’t waste anymore here.

Once I’ve deposited my suitcase in the trunk, I take my seat on the passenger side. Padraig is staring straight ahead, making no noise aside from the swish-swish of his tracksuit as he shifts the car into gear.

“Before we head to Killarney,” I say, drawing his attention briefly from the road before he remembers that he’s mad at me, “I need to make one stop.”

He sighs heavily like he’s just realized his decision to give me the silent treatment isn’t really going to fly. Nor is he exactly a pro at keeping quiet. “Where to?”

“Callum’s, if you don’t mind.”

His gaze cuts to me briefly before he regains his composure. “Callum’s it is.”

As if the universe knows this is the last time I’ll ever see this place, the overcast winter sky parts just as we crest the hill leading to the cottage. Dense gray gives way to buttery sunlight, warming the air by a few degrees. I still tuck my hands into my armpits while walking across the gravel to the front door in an attempt to warm them. I can feel Padraig’s gaze burning a hole between my shoulder blades from where he waits in the car, but I fight the urge to turn around and plead for his help. This is something I have to do alone.

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