Page 18 of Holiday Situationship

My heart clenches painfully as soon as I see Sam’s pained eyes. The confusion and hurt lingering in them mirror my own, and for a moment, I can barely breathe. I can’t deny the love I harbor for him, but I can’t stay and watch him love someone else, pretending I’m okay with it.

The charade of us being a couple has gone on long enough. I’ve been lying to myself, to Sam, to Julia—everyone. The truth is eating me up inside. How can I accept a job in New York, knowing I’ve lied to Julia? She trusted me, believed in me, and I’ve betrayed her. I can’t live with that guilt.

My heart beats rapidly as I’m caught between the need to protect myself and letting go of the unhealthy hope imprisoned in my soul.

“I need to come clean about something.” My voice trembles, but I right my shoulders and lift my chin, ready to face the consequences. “Julia, I lied to you about Sam and me. We’re not a couple.” I glance at Sam, and my stomach twists into an ugly soul-sucking knot. “We’ve always been just friends.”

The words stick in my throat. There’s no turning back now. Time stands still as all eyes fall on me. Shame and fear swirl in my gut, twisting tighter with each tick of the clock. My heart pounds in my ears, drowning out the stillness of the room. I swallow hard, feeling like I’m on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump but terrified of the fall.

“That isn’t true.” Sam’s steady voice cuts through the tension.

I blink, taken aback. My heart stutters as I catch the raw honesty in his eyes.

Ryan clears his throat and places a firm hand on Sam’s shoulder, a grounding force, urging him forward. “Now’s the time, man. If you’ve got something to say, say it.”

Sam’s gaze shifts to Ryan, and there’s a fleeting moment of vulnerability in his expression. It’s as if he’s standing on a precipice like I am but gathering the courage to take the leap. Sam takes a deep breath and refocuses his attention on me. A shiver runs up my spine as it dawns on me that he’s been keeping secrets, too.

“We weren’t just friends last night,” he says soberly. “And we weren’t the night of your birthday. We’ve never been just friends.”

“What about Chastity? I heard the call.” My heart aches with a strange blend of hope and fear. I can’t bear the thought of her or any other woman with Sam. Not now. Not with what we shared.

“She wanted to talk about getting back together, but that’s not what I want. She and I were over long before we broke up. I was too stubborn to admit it. The truth is, no one’s ever compared to you, Annie.”

“It isn’t just Chastity. It’s everyone you’ve ever been with. They’re all the same. They’re nothing like me.” My breath catches in my throat. “I’m the opposite of them all. I’m nerdy, wear librarian glasses, and love numbers and statistics. I prefer sneakers over stilettos and wouldn’t know a designer handbag from a thrift store knockoff. I’m not your type, Sam. I never have been.”

“You’ve always been my type.” He steps closer, closing the distance between us, his voice soft, filled with conviction. “I’ve failed at every relationship, because I’ve always loved you. I thought I ruined everything between us all those years ago. I couldn’t lose your friendship, too, so I tried to move past it, but I can’t Annie. I’ve always loved you.”

His words slowly sink into me until my heart’s about to burst. All the doubts, the insecurities, the years of thinking I wasn’t enough—they begin to melt away.

***

Sam

I wait on pins and needles for Annie to say something—anything, except we’re through. I can’t ask her to stay, but the thought of her leaving, of her being in New York without me, is unbearable.

Ryan moves toward Julia. He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her close. There’s comfort in the way they stand together, united, like Annie and I have always been but without the commitment to something bigger than our complicated friendship. Despite the deception I’ve been part of, a flicker of understanding lights Julia’s eyes. I owe her an apology as much if not more than Annie. I played my part, wanting our ruse to be true.

The lines woven across Annie’s brow soften. She bites her lower lip as her cheeks bloom to a rosy shade of pink. We’re both so raw and exposed, with everyone in the room privy to the truth we’ve only begun to admit to ourselves.

“You love me?” Annie’s voice quivers. “Like that? Like girlfriend material?”

Her words, so tentative and unsure, fill me with a flicker of hope that I hardly dare to hold onto. Relief overcomes me. I step closer, my heart pounding as I shake my head.

“Like lifetime material,” I say as my heartbeat skyrockets. “The forever kind.”

The faintest smile tugs at the corners of Annie’s lips, and before I can blink, she leaps into my arms and throws her arms around my neck. I lift her off the floor, holding her close, feeling the sickening weight of almost losing her dissipate.

“I’ve loved you forever already,” she blurts, burying her head into the crook of my neck.

“Well, well, well... This changes everything.” Julia’s voice cuts through our moment with a playful lilt as if she’s seen this coming all along. “What about New York?”

Annie lifts her head from my shoulder, her eyes searching mine, the uncertainty from before still lingering in her gaze. I don’t have the right to ask her to stay, to give up a career opportunity.

“We’ll make it work,” I say, my voice steady, though my heart is pounding. “Whatever it takes, Annie. I’m not letting you go again.”

Hannah traipses into the kitchen, humming a Christmas carol, completely unaware of the tension in the air. She grabs a mug and pours herself a cup of coffee. Her eyes dart around the room over the rim of her cup.

“Why’s everyone so serious?” she finally says, breaking the deafening quiet. “And why are we staring at the lovebirds?” she asks more hushed than before.

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