“Thanks,” I say. “I get cold easily. I’d blame the hangover, but it’s just always been a thing, you know?”
It’s like when liars give way too much information and ramble on and on instead of just shutting the hell up.
Sutton sends me a long look before he nods.
“No problem.” He gives me a small smile then leaves the room.
I stare after him for another moment before I go to the bathroom to take that shower.
Sutton’s right. I do feel better after the shower. Not great, but better. My head still throbs like a bitch, and my mouth has that cottony dryness to it, but the nausea has subsided, so that’s a real win in my book.
I fold my clothes and put them on the edge of the dresser before I venture out of the bedroom. I follow the noise until it leads me to the open-plan living room. Sutton’s in the kitchen nook, his back toward me.
He’s propped his phone on a speaker. Some band I don’t know is playing softly in the background. That strange feeling of intimacy is back. It’s most likely misplaced. He probably has people over all the time, so why I’m suddenly imagining that I’m seeing him differently than other people usually do is anybody’s guess.
Even so, I stand silently and watch.
I’m less nervous than I was yesterday. I’ve already made my move, so the hardest part is over. I don’t have to tell him I want to sleep with him for the first time ever again, because I’ve already done it. He already knows. Whatever happens next, however it all plays out, I’ve already done the most challenging bit, so all in all, I’m pretty calm and sure by now.
He wanted me. Yeah, sure, he put a stop to us actually doing anything, but that wasn’t because he wasn’t interested in what I was offering. It was just his inconvenient streak of decency. It was pointless, but I suppose I can’t really complain about him wanting to do the right thing.
It doesn’t even bother me that he clearly thinks I’ll change my mind or have forgotten about the whole thing by now.
I haven’t.
And I knew exactly what I was doing and what I want.
I want to sleep with him.
I want to sleep with him because—and it sounds stupid as fuck and really not like me—I trust him.
He turns around and when he finds me looking at him, he raises his brow at me.
“So?” he asks. “Feel better?”
“Somewhat more human.” I take a seat at the counter.
He places a glass of water in front of me and follows that with a sandwich. The thought of food does not appeal in the least, so I gingerly lift the bread slice on top and inspect the contents. There are the usual suspects like ham and cheese, but most of it seems to be different vegetables and green stuff. I drop the bread and take a fortifying breath.
Sutton’s lips twitch. “It’s good for you.”
“So is going to the dentist, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to brace myself.”
I stare at the sandwich some more before I pick it up and take a bite. I chew thoughtfully and eventually polish off the rest of it.
“He survives,” Sutton says.
“Against all odds.”
He leans his ass against the counter and watches me silently while I nurse my water.
“So… what do you have planned for today?” I ask.
He gives a one-shoulder shrug. “Fuck around until I find something that interests me. Same as every day.”
“Talking about fucking around.” My fingers tighten around the glass for a moment. “I’m available.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long time. Or maybe it just feels like an eternity because I don’t know what he’s thinking right now. His expression is unreadable, even if his eyes stay on me.