Page 100 of Maybe You

And then all at once.

My breathing is very loud in the otherwise quiet room.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

How the fuck did I let this happen?

I roll onto my back and blink wildly at the darkness above me.

Sutton mumbles in his sleep and turns on his side. He throws his arm over my chest and burrows closer, his nose pressed against the side of my neck, soft breaths blowing over my skin.

This could be us.

The thought is quick and unbidden, and I try to push it away, but it digs its claws in and stubbornly stays put, so now I’m thinking of all those other could bes.

The talking and laughter and sex and everything.

But permanently.

For good.

It’s all so vivid for a moment that it makes me smile at the ceiling.

Just before reality crashes back in.

You can’t fall in love with me.

That was the one rule.

One rule.

And now here we are anyway.

Fucking, fucking, fuck!

I blow out a breath, slowly, through my teeth.

My thoughts slow down a bit and the panic settles into something more manageable.

Another realization takes shape in my head.

I won’t tell him.

I can’t.

It wouldn’t be fair. He was so clear about all the things he doesn’t want.

And I can’t keep him anyway, not for good.

But if I don’t tell him…

I might be able to keep him for now.

TWENTY

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