Page 99 of Maybe You

Closer.

Until I’m wrapped in his arms again.

He kisses the top of my head, and he’s asleep almost immediately.

I stay up for a long, long time after.

Wide awake.

My brain is slowly churning out pieces of something. Spitting them out in front of me, a mess of bits and scraps that seem random at first. Images of Sutton laughing. Teasing comments. Jokes. Secrets.

My fingers in his hair.

His lips on mine.

Sitting on the stairs in front of the pool.

And talking.

Talking.

Talking.

Talking.

Telling him things I’ve never told anybody else.

Him opening up. Like lifting a sealed lid and having a peek inside.

And wanting more.

Becoming greedy.

Please, please, please give me more.

More of everything.

More talking and jokes and laughter and secrets. I’ll take them all. I’ll keep them for you. Give them to me. I’ll keep them safe.

By now my heartbeat has gotten wilder, an uncontrolled agent of chaos in my chest as I fit the pieces together this way and that.

A realization is dawning in my head. Slowly at first, and then all at once.

My heartbeat gets even wilder.

I swallow hard, throat dry, panic buzzing in my limbs.

I… I’d run if I could, but where the fuck would I even go?

There is nowhere I can hide from this.

Because I’ve gone and done the one thing I never, ever should have.

Fell.

Head over heels.

Slowly at first.

---