Page 90 of Maybe You

“For birds?” he asks, and he sounds way too excited about something most people probably consider excruciatingly boring.

“Yeah. I have nothing else planned, so I’m taking advantage.”

“Where?” he asks.

“I’m not sure yet. The Ramble, maybe? I haven’t been there in forever. I guess I’ll see.”

He hums thoughtfully.

“What time?”

I laugh. “Why? You’re out of town. What does it matter?”

“Fine. Be mysterious.”

“Yeah. That’s me. Mysterious,” I say. “Sometime in the afternoon. Four-ish.”

“See? Was that so hard?”

He sounds weirdly cheerful all of a sudden, and I’m not sure why.

“Excruciating,” I say. “What do you have planned for the rest of your time on that multimillion-dollar yacht you’re currently hanging around on? Keep in mind that I have no idea how the other half lives, so don’t disappoint. Do you have a butler who indulges your every whim? So if you get a hankering for a steak covered in gold or a diamond watch in the middle of the night, they’ll make it happen? Are you staying in a cabin made of gold? Is the yacht made of gold? Do you have orgies? Is there?—”

“Whoa,” he says with a loud laugh. “No.”

“To all of it?” I ask. “Even the orgies?”

“You sound disappointed. Did you want me to have an orgy?”

Fuck, no.

The thought is quick and unbidden, and it should have no business being anywhere in the vicinity of my brain. The uncomfortable squeezing in my chest has even less right to be there.

I know the rules.

“Well, you’re… I mean, I don’t…” I squeeze my eyes shut. “If you wanted,” I finish and feel like an idiot.

He falls silent, and I curse in my head. I should’ve just shut up. Instead, I’ve now invited all sorts of thoughts and I’m quickly finding out I don’t really like them. I also don’t like that I don’t like them.

It’s stupid. I know it is, but up until now I didn’t really think about who else Sutton might be sleeping with besides me. I also realize it’s incredibly naive to operate under the assumption that he isn’t. Just because my social life is nonexistent doesn’t mean his is. And since he says he has no commitments or obligations, he has a lot of time on his hands to do whatever and whoever he wants.

I don’t like that idea.

And I also don’t like that I don’t like that idea.

It’s a slippery slope and idiotic to boot to develop a crush on somebody just because you like the way he handles your dick.

It’s not real.

The crush, not my dick.

And it’s not even a crush.

I just like Sutton.

And that’s fine. Plus, I suspect the weird thoughts I’m having about him have got something to do with the fact that I’ve just gotten used to having him around a lot, and now he’s away. So this I-like-him crap most likely has at least something to do with his absence.

I should really end this call before I accidentally say or think something else that’s a firm ten on the dumb scale.

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