Page 89 of Inevitable

“And no, you fucking will not break up with us. You wanna go on tour? Fucking go. But you will not break up with us because you’ve decided to adopt a raging martyr complex, you fucking idiot!”

He pushed past Bas and made a grab for his bottle of scotch, but he accidentally knocked it over in the process. He stared at the alcohol spilling on the concrete, jaw clenched, before he turned around and pushed past Bas.

“You owe me a bottle of scotch,” he snapped before he stormed away down the street.

Bas’s heart was beating so hard that it felt like it was trying to break out of his chest.

Ezra got up slowly. He looked relatively calm. Or at least it didn’t seem like he was going to start yelling any time soon.

“What the hell just happened?” Bas asked weakly.

Ezra cocked his head to the side like he was trying to decide if Bas was serious.

“You fucked up,” he simply said. “And now you have to fix it.”

There was so much determination in his gaze, like he would bring Drew back to them with sheer willpower. Like it was all so simple. Like he believed Bas could and would make it all better.

Bas let out a hollow laugh and started pacing.

“You sure about that?” He dragged both his hands through his hair and whirled toward Ezra. “Maybe this is better. Maybe I should—”

“Don’t,” Ezra said. “Don’t finish that sentence. You’ll regret it later.”

“Will I?” Bas asked. He was sure he looked as pathetic as he felt inside, but nothing made sense anymore.

Ezra moved toward Bas until he was right in front of him.

“Do you love me?”

Bas blinked. All self-pity was overshadowed by that question.

“What?”

“Do you love me?” Ezra repeated.

“I…” For the first time ever, Bas was lost for words.

Ezra stared at him, impossibly, infuriatingly calm.

“It’s a simple question, Basil. Do you love me? It’s a yes-or-no question. Three letters or two. Take your pick. Do. You. Love. Me? Because if you do, then you have to stop giving up, and you have to start fighting. For me. For Drew. For us.”

“Weren’t you here just now? Maybe us isn’t a workable solution. Maybe being us only creates problems for everybody. Maybe I create problems for all of us.” Bas swallowed down the anger that bubbled up with each word that left his lips. “Love is supposed to be easy. And unconditional. It’s supposed to… I don’t fucking know, lift you up. Do you feel this here is easy?”

“No,” Ezra said.

Bas’s shoulders slumped. Well, he had gotten to Ezra. Anger left his body in a rush, leaving behind hollow, echoing emptiness.

“No,” Ezra repeated. “This here isn’t easy. But what I feel for you is. I love you, Bas. Loving you, and loving Drew? That’s easy. And unconditional. And everything else it’s supposed to be. I never thought I’d get this.” Ezra pressed his palm on Bas’s chest, where his heart had started galloping wildly.

“You and Drew have given me love and a family,” he continued. “You’re always so fucking hotheaded, so just do me a favor. Take a moment and think things through. Loving you both is easy. Life is not. Not everybody will understand what we have, so there will be hard moments. And there will be sacrifices whether we want to or not. If you think it’s not worth it—that we’re not worth it—then go. But don’t give up on us simply because you think it’ll be easier.”

Bas closed his eyes. Let Ezra’s words move through him. He took a slow, deep breath. And another one. And another one. He did it until breathing became easier, chasing away the anger and fear.

His shoulders hunched as he replayed the conversation between him and Drew. It had all seemingly made sense in his head. Before. When he was alone in the silence of his studio. When he saw the immeasurable sadness in Drew’s eyes. When he felt the oppressive weight of guilt on his shoulders, no matter how illogical it was.

Ezra’s palms covered Bas’s cheeks, and he tilted Bas’s head up and kissed him gently. Ezra’s lips were like a soft whisper, and the longer he kissed Bas, the less his motivations from before made sense.

Just friends didn’t kiss like this. Just friends didn’t look at each other like the world started and stopped with them. Just friends didn’t cuddle on the couch after a long, exhausting day. Just friends wouldn’t plan the future together. Just friends didn’t feel that overpowering love that was wreaking havoc inside Bas whenever he looked at Drew or Ezra.

---