Page 8 of Pixel Perfect Pack

“Why do you feel cursed?”

“I don’t know,” she muses and I revel in the newfound lightness to her tone. “I want to be the person Jack wants me to be. I do. I’ve tried everything. Changing how I dress, dieting, trying not to bore him by chatting about you guys and gaming. I’m not sure it’s enough. And that, my friend, has been the problem my entire life.”

“You’re enough for us,” I admit. “We’ve never had any complaints.”

JJ groans, sniffles then goes silent for a few seconds. I wonder if I’ve overstepped. It wouldn’t be the first time. I don’t exactly have the best filter when it comes to conversation. “Sorry, I’m crazy emotional today.”

“It’s okay,” I promise, wishing more than anything that I could reach through the computer and wrap my arms around her. I’m not the smartest alpha in the pack but I know when someone’s in distress and right now, alarm bells are ringing. “You don’t have to apologise, we all have bad days.”

She giggles through tears. “I’ve never known you to have a bad day the entire time I’ve known you, Minx.”

“Trust me, I have them.” The honest truth is I have plenty of bad days, it’s just that jumping on a chat with my three favourite people and playing games… all the bad stuff just dissolves into nothing. Suddenly the bad doesn’t seem so, well, bad. JJ yawns and the tiredness she’s feeling seems to seep into my bones. A few seconds later and I’m yawning too.

“I don’t want to go but I need sleep, this chair just isn’t cutting it tonight.”

I nod, forgetting she can’t see me. “You could swap to mobile chat, take me with you.”

“Wha… really?” she asks like my bare minimum effort suggestion is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her.

“Of course, I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

Her voice sounds so small when she replies, “That would be nice, Minxy. Thank you.”

A few moments later and a lot of background noise and I hear her finally collapse into bed. There’s a flurry of movement, probably blankets and pillows being adjusted, before she sighs happily.

“Tell me that story again,” she breathes.

I laugh, shaking my head as I settle down on the worn settee in my living room. “Oh, what story would that be?”

She joins me in laughing, embarrassment seeping into her tone. “The one where you and Quietek made Mourning lose his game and he threw his computer out the window.”

“Oh, thaaaaaat one,” I joke. “Okay, it was your average Sunday evening…”

Five

Jess

Dusting my hands on my apron I survey the absolute bombsite that is my kitchen. The room is teeny tiny and, as my dad would say, you couldn’t swing a cat. I’ve never tested the theory given I don’t condone animal cruelty, but I know it’s an accurate statement.

The bagel dough is resting, the bowl positioned on the windowsill to proof in the afternoon sunlight. I’ve got a tray of chocolate chip cookies on top of the stove and there’s enough dough left for another batch. I should be sitting at my computer working but I’m uncharacteristically restless. It’s been three days since my disastrous Sunday lunch and Jack has only messaged me a couple of times, both of which he was merely asking for dirty pictures to occupy himself at work. I didn’t humour him, too pissed off that he hadn’t even bothered to call me to check how I was feeling.

The guys, however, are a different story. Minxy has stayed on the phone with me every night while I fall asleep, only hanging up once he’s sure I’m out for the count. Mourning has been messaging every day to check in and tell me the latest gossip in the streaming community. Quietek made a point of sending out the hugest bunch of flowers yesterday to cheer me up. He’s never one for direct social interaction so the bouquet of heather, irises and thistles had been as close to a hug as I think I’ll ever get from him.

Although all symptoms haven’t quite disappeared, they’ve definitely lessened in severity. I stick a pod in my coffee machine and set my cup down beneath the spout before moving on to frothing some milk. I’m on a lot of meds to control the symptoms of my chronic illness: painkillers, antidepressants, anti-nausea meds. I was warned when I started the medications that they’d have an impact on my heat cycle and might even stop it altogether. Since the only thing I’ve had close to a heat was four years ago, short, and easily dealt with, I figured that it wasn’t for me. It was then when I realised I’m destined to be a barren spinster with one too many cats. Though I’m currently working on acquiring the cats.

I think that’s why I hold onto Jack so tightly. Just like most people on this planet, I don’t want to be alone. Still, it doesn’t take an expert to see that he’s not exactly the best.

With a quick stir, I gulp down a few mouthfuls of hot coffee, knocking back my pills with ease. The caramelly undertones of the coffee give way to the bitter taste of the medication where it lingers on my tongue.

I don’t care what anyone says, fibromyalgia teamed up with FND is no joke. Some days I’m crippled with pain, swollen joints and brain fog. Other days, like today, it’s like I’m living the dream in my little cottage near the beach. That is until a wave of pain hits me in the gut. The coffee cup I’m holding falls to the floor and smashes on the tile.

Doubling over, I hold onto the kitchen worktop for support. Suddenly the rays of sun streaming in through the window feel like they’re burning my skin. My clothes are too tight, too itchy. My thighs tremble as I clench them together, praying that this will pass as quickly as it appeared.

Oh God, the ache.

It’s nothing like my last heat, this isn’t small cramps and a mild fever, this is full-on touch me with a feather and I will buckle beneath its weight. I hold my stomach as I make my way through to my bedroom. If I can just get to my bed and bundle under the covers I might make it through this latest wave.

Bumping against the walls and feeling my way, it takes me what feels like an eternity to make it to my bed. I fumble to get my phone out of my apron pocket, hoping if I can catch Jack while he’s on his lunch he can come here and help me because fuck. This is too much.

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