Page 45 of A Very Happy Halloween

The dumb part of me that had flung caution to the wind and leapt into the relationship with Eis hoped that Harry was talking about Shawn, but the chill punching its way up my spine told me the truth. I clicked on the link.

Usually, I avoided the tabloids like the plague, but there was Eis, front and centre on celebgossip.com with a leggy brunette as they strolled along a city street. A small boy with dark brown hair skipped between them, one hand in each of theirs and a huge grin on his face. Happy. They all looked so happy.

Like a proper family.

It was a great picture. Crystal clear.

And the boy had Eisen’s eyes.

“I feel sick.”

“What happened?” Marissa leaned over my shoulder. “Oh. Yikes.”

Spotted in Kensington: Ladies’ favourite Eisen Renner finally emerges from his man cave with a stunner on his arm.

Renner refused to answer questions as he headed for brunch with the mystery brunette, but he’s in great shape after last year’s acid attack. We think the eyepatch only makes him look hotter. Hopefully, Ironman will be back in the ring soon, giving it some pow-pow-pow as we go wow-wow-wow at the sight of those famous butt cheeks.

I knew it.

I knew he was too good to be true.

“Who’s the little boy?” Marissa asked.

“I have no freaking clue!”

Another message from Harry.

Harry

Everyone says that you can’t be his girlfriend because he has a new girlfriend. Is it true?

“Is it?” Marissa asked.

“Stop asking questions. Just stop! I don’t know. I don’t know anything, okay?”

Fingers trembling, I dialled Eis’s number, then pressed the phone against my ear as I paced the car park at the test centre. But there was no answer. Had I made another colossal mistake?

In hindsight, I was glad he hadn’t picked up because what would I have said? Do you have a secret child? Are you cheating on me with her, or are you cheating on her with me? Can Alfie at least have his worm farm back?

I needed time to think things through.

After a not-so-tearful goodbye with my driving instructor, Marissa chauffeured me back home and followed me into the silent, half-finished house. Past Eis’s work boots in the hallway, past his coat draped over the newel post, past the bag of sports kit he’d brought for the boys.

“What are you doing?” she asked as I began rummaging through drawers in the kitchen.

“Looking for the corkscrew.”

Finally, I found what I was searching for, wrenched the cork free from Tesco’s finest bargain-bin wine, and swigged straight from the bottle.

Marissa pursed her lips. “Is that a good idea?”

“Who can say? My judgment is terrible.”

This should have been such a happy day, but instead, it had turned into one of the worst of my life. Hadn’t I learned my lesson yet? Eis didn’t call. Marissa picked Alfie up from school, and Harry stomped off upstairs when he arrived home on the bus. I was just numb. Lying face down on the sofa, numb. Once again, I’d dared to dream of the future, only to get a rude awakening.

I knew I had to speak with him.

Eventually.

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