Page 43 of A Very Happy Halloween

“He smells like that stuff Dad sprays on his armpits, but like, a lot, and he told me I couldn’t watch TV and I had to go in my room.”

“Chickens coming home to roost,” Eis muttered.

More like buzzards circling.

“Can I have a chicken?” Alfie asked. “It could live in the garden at Eis’s place.”

They both looked at me.

“It’d be good for the boys to learn where food comes from,” Eis said.

“I’m not plucking a freaking chicken.”

“I was thinking of the eggs.”

Right. They both kept staring, and then Harry joined in. Great. I grudgingly shrugged.

“If you look after the worm farm properly, perhaps in a few months we could get a chicken.”

Harry shook his head. “I learned about farm animals at school, and chickens don’t like living on their own. We have to get at least two.”

“We can call them Nemo and Dory,” Alfie said.

“No, dumbass, those are fish.”

“Harry, don’t call your brother a dumbass.”

“So we should get fish as well?” Alfie asked. “They can live in the swimming pool.”

Eis was trying not to laugh, his eye sparkling. “Let’s start with the chickens, buddy. Maybe later, we can put in a pond.”

Lisa was right; Eisen Renner made the best dad.

Eighteen

“So, how are things going with Eisen?” Marissa asked.

“Good. Really good. He seems more excited about the party than the boys are.”

Tuesday morning, start of the big day. Would it be eighth time lucky? Eis had left for London late yesterday morning with Primrose, and having dinner without him felt weird. But life was good. Not only had Alfie’s cast been removed for good yesterday, so he’d stopped complaining about itchy skin, but we also had a working shower at Marigold Lodge. Eis and an electrician had finished installing it yesterday before Eis headed off.

“Do the boys know you’re dating him now?”

I nodded. “They’re okay with it.”

Maybe even better than okay. Mrs. Bailey, Harry’s headteacher, had called right after I took a shower with Eis and informed me that we needed to talk. My heart had sunk as memories of my own visits to the headteacher’s office came flooding back. How bad would it be?

“Harry’s been telling lies,” she said. “Here at Southcott Comprehensive, we encourage honesty at all times, so it’s best if we can nip this in the bud now.”

“What lies has he been telling?”

“He’s been bragging to the other boys that his mother is dating a cage fighter.”

He had?

“At any point, did it occur to you that he might be telling the truth?”

“On Harry’s application form, you said you were married, and you noted your husband’s occupation as ‘accountant.’”

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