Page 17 of A Very Happy Halloween

“My fist.”

“But…but that’s not a weapon.”

“Apparently when you’re a pro fighter and you’re assigned the wrong judge, it is.” He sighed. “The motherfucker who raped my sister was talking shit to her, so I broke his jaw and a couple of ribs. I’m not sorry.”

There was so much to unpack in that. Rape? Broken ribs? He’d never even told me that he had a sister.

“I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Then just listen. Sending that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ text was the last thing I did before a copper took my phone, and I only had a few seconds to decide what to say. I got it wrong, and then I had no way to fix things. I’m sorry for that. I’ll always be sorry. My head was fucked, and I thought letting you go was the best option. I mean, would you have waited two years for me? We’d known each other for less than a week. Later, I wished I’d sent Edie to talk with you instead, but by then, it was too late.”

“Who’s Edie?”

“My little sister. I made a mess of everything, and I get that. After I was released, I tried to find you, but I heard you were married with a kid, so I stayed away. Janie, I just want you to be happy, but now I look at you and I see that you’re not.”

The tears came, but Eis stayed where he was, a rock in a stormy sea. He didn’t move forward an inch.

And he was right. This was a mess.

Despite the gulf between us, despite the heartache he’d caused, I still felt that crazy pull, the invisible current that had first zapped me when he handed me a lettuce.

“He cheated on me,” I whispered, meaning Steven. “With my boss.”

“Then he’s a fucking idiot.”

“I thought he was the safe option. The opposite of you.”

“You think I’m dangerous?”

“Well, you did tear my heart in two. You hurt me, Eis. You really hurt me. I can’t just forget about that.”

He managed a lopsided smile. “At the moment, I’d settle for you not crossing the road when you see me coming. And yeah, I’m handy with my fists, but I swear I’ll never lay a finger on you.”

I motioned towards his eye. “Was that another fight?”

He shook his head. “A colleague was having trouble with an ex, so I offered to walk her to her car one night. The fucker was hiding between two vehicles, and he threw acid at her.”

I couldn’t hold back my gasp. “It hit you too?”

“I saw him a second before she did and shoved her down, but I couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. That…” Eis took a deep breath. “That really screwed with my head. I’d always felt invincible, you know? Physically, anyway. Then suddenly, I was sedated in the ICU having one surgery after another, and everything was out of my control. I couldn’t even use the fucking bathroom on my own. And when I came out, that was worse. I had to adjust to a whole new life. Janie, don’t look at me that way.”

“What way?”

“With pity. I preferred the anger.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I need to think about this, okay? I just need some space.”

“Okay.”

“You said you’d leave.”

“And I will. About the chocolates…?”

My head screamed no, no, no, but my heart overruled the same way it had thirteen years ago. This man had a way of making me stupid. Okay, stupider. I’d already proven with Steven that my judgment was sorely lacking.

“Maybe the occasional box would be all right.”

Nine

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