Page 50 of A Very Happy Halloween

“It’s there for safety.”

“Which part of ‘safety’ involves stalking me at a party?”

“You’re my wife. I care.”

Give me strength.

“Leave. Just leave. Turn out of the gates and follow the sign for Fuckoffsville, and after you get there, take the turning for Fuckoffsomemore. When you reach the cliff with the big notice that says ‘No pillocks beyond this point,’ put your foot on the gas, ignore the warning signs the same way you always do, and keep on fucking going.” I turned to the security guard who was standing impassively beside me. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s quite all right, ma’am.”

“Janie, that’s really childish,” Steven whined. “We’re still married.”

“Only because you keep dragging your heels on the financial settlement.”

As he’d done for our entire marriage, he ignored the parts he didn’t like and changed the subject.

“Why are you dressed up like that?” He wrinkled his nose. “I can understand the youngsters wearing costumes, but you’re at least thirty years old.”

Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether to punch him or be flattered because I was almost thirty-two.

“At least thirty? Steven, do you even remember when my birthday is? Let’s just go for the month here.”

“Uh…uh… It’s sometime around Christmas… December?”

How had I stayed with this pillock for as long as I did? Every year, he’d forgotten my birthday, and when I’d bothered to remind him, he’d just promised to get me a better Christmas present instead. Two gifts in one. Then he’d arrive home with a sad bunch of flowers or—on one memorable occasion—a giant cookie cake that said Happy Birthday Julie. Apparently, the shop had been selling it off cheap after Julie ditched her boyfriend and he declined to collect it. Julie had the right idea.

“Look, I make no apologies if my idea of having fun is juvenile compared to your hobby of porking my boss. If it bothers you, have you tried minding your own fucking business?” This time, the security guard’s lips twitched. “Again, I’m so sorry.”

“I was in the Navy, ma’am. I’ve heard far worse.”

“Carry on, babe. Your filthy mouth is making me hard.”

Oh, shit.

Who had told Eis I was here?

“Who the hell are you?” Steven snapped.

“Eisen Renner.” He held out a hand, and Steven shook it automatically because he afforded men a respect he didn’t offer women. Ah, that little wince made me smile. “I’m Janie’s future husband.”

I’m sorry, what?

Eis smiled, and he looked relaxed, but it was fake relaxed. I could feel the tension in him when he slipped an arm around my waist.

Steven’s mouth gaped open, and he goldfished for a few moments. But then his expression turned calculating.

“If you two are getting married, does that mean I won’t have to pay child support?”

That slimy little shitbag. Money. It all came down to money with Steven. I was so stupid for so long.

“Does it matter?” I asked. “It’s not as if you’ve ever paid a penny anyway.”

Eis’s fingers dug into my hip as he stared Steven down. “I don’t give a fuck whether you pay child support, but you know who will? Your boys. When they’re older, and they realise their dad didn’t care enough to put a watertight roof over their heads, they’ll care. And then they won’t be your boys anymore.”

Now Steven had turned red. “Is this some kind of joke?”

He thought being a father was a joke?

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