“You are crazy, you know that?” Marissa asks.
I grin at her. “Maybe, but I had to tell you that I’m sorry. I was out of sorts at the restaurant earlier. I don’t think that your family is involved with anything that’s going wrong at Venetian Dreams. My father got into my head and I reacted irrationally. Forgive me, Marissa? I don’t ever want to do anything to hurt you. And I should have helped to come up with a solution.”
Marissa takes a step toward me. In the yellow circle from the streetlight, I can see her eyes shining. I’m worried that I’m about to make her cry, but she’s smiling. “Thank you, Luca,” she says. “That means a lot to me.”
“I don’t know if we can come up with a solution that will actually work,” I say, “but I’d like to try.”
The two of us stand there, not saying anything. On my end, it’s because I honestly don’t know what to say. There are a million thoughts jumbled together in my head, but sorting them out is a lot more difficult than I realized. I got the apology out, and to me, that was the most important thing. Now I just want to be in her presence. Maybe she feels the same.
“I want to try, too,” she says at last, her eyes never leaving mine.
A car drives by us, and Marissa seems startled. “I shouldn’t be here right now,” she says. “What if someone sees us together?”
“I thought about that,” I say. “Do you want to head into the park?”
“Okay,” she says. “But I can’t stay out too late. I have an early shift tomorrow morning.”
That seems like the best it’s going to get tonight. I”ll take whatever time with Marissa that I can. I’m just thankful that Marissa has agreed to take the walk. Maybe the act of walking will help shake loose some of my thoughts. I really do have so much to tell her, to confess to.
“It’s funny,” Marissa says with a pensive tone. “My book club is reading Romeo and Juliet. I’m not trying to be over-dramatic, but it really feels like our relationship is mirroring that play.”
“Let’s not follow their ending,” I say in a mock serious tone. This has the effect that I am hoping for, and Marissa laughs.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Marissa says.
The path into the park is dark, shaded even from the street lights by the leaves on the trees. I want to reach over and take her hand, but something holds me back. I’m not sure if we are truly reconciled or not. I feel like we are, that we have put things right between us, but I don’t want to make any assumptions and make things worse.
The path winds into one of the bigger parks in Cranberry Creek. This is the park that summer concerts happen in every year. The band shell on the other side of the park is well lit. I wonder if we should stay away from it. Technically we aren’t supposed to be here. The playground and the gazebo are covered by shadows, so I head over there. Marissa doesn’t seem to have a problem with the decision, and soon she is basically leading the way.
We need to reconnect. That much is clear. We might have gotten back on solid footing, but that doesn’t mean that I feel confident about where we’re at to tell her yet that I love her. I’ve learned from my family that in some fights, sometimes people need more time to process their feelings. I’m not going to rush Marissa through anything. Maybe that’s something I should tell her. I don’t think that would upset her. And yet, I can’t make my mouth form the words.
The only thing that keeps running through my brain is that I love her. I keep stealing glances at her through the dim light, and there are just so many perfect moments. Something holds me back, though. We get to the gazebo and sit down on one of the benches. This would be the perfect spot.
“You know what we should do?” Marissa asks.
“What?” I say.
“We should go walk around Cranberry Creek,” she says.
“Okay. Anywhere in particular that you want to go?” I ask.
“Not really,” she says. “It’s just something that I really loved doing when I was in high school. Now I can’t really get anyone to go with me.”
“I’m game,” I say.
As we stand and leave the gazebo, Marissa reaches out and takes my hand. We twine our fingers together. This is the exact moment when I know everything is alright between us. I feel my whole body relax. Things are going to be okay.
We walk along the quiet, deserted streets. Periodically a car will drive past us and Marissa will tense up slightly. I know that she can’t help her reaction. I suppose if we were in Fox River Falls, I might react much the same way. Neither of us wants our families to find out about us. Not right now, as silly as it seems at times, when I step back and think about it. Here we are, two grown adults, sneaking around from our parents! I shake my head and inwardly chuckle over the absurdity. Marissa looks up at me quizzically. I don’t want to bring up the subject and ruin the moment, so I switch gears in my head and begin a new conversation.
“Do you think that you want to settle in Cranberry Creek?” I ask.
“I suppose so,” Marissa says with a shrug. “I guess I always just assumed I would get married and raise a family here. What about you? Do you want to leave or stay in the area?”
“I always assumed I would stay in the area, too,” I say. “And now, more than ever, I am convinced of that.”
Marissa looks up at me, and under a streetlight I can see that she is flushed. I hope it’s with pleasure at what I said. “Do you want a big family?” she asks.
“I’ll take as big a family as the good Lord provides me with,” I say, because coming from a family that holds family values and faith at the crux of everything, that has always been how I assumed it would be.