Page 23 of Falling for my Family's Rival

I stop, because I don’t know what else to say. Part of me wants to tell Luca how hurt I am that he doesn’t trust me enough to know what’s going on with my family. The other part does understand how hard it is to have your whole family bearing down on you, telling you that the way you think things are might not even be true. I need him to be on my side. Not that sides are important, because I don’t really think that either side is doing what the other thinks they are.

Luca looks at me, like he’s waiting for me to continue. I know that he isn’t like this. I know that he doesn’t buy into all the conspiracy theories out there. He has said as much to me in the recent past. But I also know how hard it is to free yourself from familial expectations.

Thinking about it from that perspective, I realize that I need to take a moment to calm down. I take a deep breath. We are both coming at this problem from a place of insecurity and family loyalty. I don’t really believe that Luca’s family are bad people, and I hope that he doesn’t truly feel that my family are actually bad either. What we really need to do is have a conversation grounded in reality. We came here today to find a solution. From the way we’re acting, I’m not sure how we will ever reach that goal- or remain united!

“I’m sorry,” Luca says. “I don’t know why I’m acting this way. I don’t think you would ever do anything to harm me or my family, Marissa. My fathers craziness crept into my mind for a moment. I know you’d never do anything to hurt us… to hurt me. I… I just want to be able to figure this out. So my family can see how amazing you are, and you can get to know how awesome they are, and the same for me with your family! I just don’t understand why this is just so… impossible!”

This is the Luca I know and love. I reach across the table to take his hand. “You just love your family, like I love mine,” I say.

This fight doesn’t feel like any of the other fights I’ve had with exes before. This fight feels like it is coming from a place of love and hurt. I am still suspicious of Luca’s family, but not because I think that they are intentionally doing anything to harm our business. More than anything, I’m worried about the rumors that they might be spreading. Even Luca. It’s so easy to say something untrue and not even realize you said it.

“There’s still a lot that we need to discuss,” I add.

“I know,” Luca says. “And we haven’t worked out any possible solution to this either.”

I bite my lower lip. “Is there a solution?” I ask, voicing the concern that has been lurking below the surface. “Because it feels like our parents - well, our dads, for sure - have already made up their minds.”

Luca sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I know that’s what it seems like, but I know that my dad has a rational side. At least, he used to. I feel like if I can just hit on the right thing to say, I’ll be able to bring that back,” he says.

I consider what he’s saying. “Is it possible that all of this is just a really poorly-timed coincidence?” I ask.

“That’s the most likely explanation. I just don’t see it being anything else,” he says.

As we eat, but I can feel the unasked questions lingering between us. I know that I should just ask them and get them out in the open. The words won’t come, though. We sit together, holding hands across the table. If anyone walks by us, they will assume that we are just another happy couple out on a date night.

Little do any of them know what’s really going on in our lives. We didn’t do what we came here to do: solve the major issues between our families. Now I’m not sure what we’re going to do. I think that I’m in love with Luca. I don’t want to betray my family, but I think that I might be willing to, if it comes to that.

Fifteen

LUCA

Idon't like the way I left things with Marissa. When I dropped her off at her car, she gave me a wobbly smile. She told me that she was fine, but I could tell that she wasn’t. At that second in time, it felt like I should just leave things alone. Let some time pass, and maybe we could try again later to solve this mountainous problem. I don’t want to rub salt in the wound, so to speak, and make things any worse.

I hated seeing her reaction tonight, when I stupidly implied that maybe she was a part of some family conspiracy. I’m still kicking myself for saying such an idiotic thing! I know Marissa. Even though I made that comment about not really “knowing one another,” I don’t actually believe my own words. Though it’s technically true, we’ve spent time really getting to know each other, albeit fast and sudden, and there are moments I feel deep in my soul that we were made for each other… soul mates.

It’s never been easier to be with someone than it is with her. I’ve never felt so… at home with anyone I’ve ever known. It’s like we’ve always known one another, and our hearts were always meant to be together, and now they’re just finding their way to each other… but through a hell of a mess around us!

I make a decision without thinking much about it: I’m going to go over to Marissa’s house tonight. If she won’t answer my calls, I’ll throw pebbles at her window, or something, to get her attention. That isn’t ideal, of course, because we still don’t want either of our families to know about us. I have to see Marissa, though. I have to make things right. And frankly, I don’t care what the consequences may be!

The streets are quiet, as I drive across Cranberry Creek. Moonlight shines brightly through the trees, casting shadows on the road, nearly as light as day. There is a stillness that you don’t get at any other time of the day. I want to savor the beauty of the moment, but I am more focused on the fact that I want to get to Marissa. I can only imagine how upset she is. I let myself get caught up in the emotions of the moment. I wasn’t thinking clearly nor fairly about what we had communicated. Tonight has to go well.

I park a few blocks away. Just because I feel desperate to see Marissa doesn’t mean that I’m going to be stupid about it. The last thing either of us needs is for someone in Marissa’s family to catch us. Walking the few blocks to her house also helps me clear my head, and compose my apology, so it’s exactly what I need to say. I want her to know my heart… So she can truly decide if she wants it.

By the time I get there, I’m ready to apologize and then go into problem-solving mode, which is where I was supposed to be at dinner anyway. I feel like I’ve failed Marissa, and I hope that she can forgive me. I don’t care how early into our relationship this is. It’s time to tell her how I feel. There can be no doubt in her mind that I am in love with her, and that I’m willing to do whatever it takes for us to be together…no matter the cost.

When I get near to what I guess is her bedroom window, I text her that I’m outside. Despite hoping that this gesture would feel like high romance, I’m also aware of how creepy this could be perceived. If some neighbor calls the police, I wouldn’t blame them. Yet, I don’t leave. Instead I wait for her to answer my text.

Just when I’m afraid that Marissa is ignoring me, I see the light go on in her room. A moment later, she appears in the window. Once she registers me standing there, she smiles at me, and I breathe a sigh of relief. At least I know that we’re still on decent footing. I can fix this. I know I can.

“Luca,” she whispers loudly enough for me to hear, but softly enough that it doesn’t cut through the evening quiet. “What are you doing here?”

She glances over her shoulder, like she’s afraid that someone is going to come in and discover her talking to me. “Come outside,” I say. “I need to apologize to you.”

“Okay,” Marissa says. “I’ll be out in a second. Meet me down the block.”

I nod, and look around before I leave. Now that I’m sure that she’s coming, I care a little more about being caught. I don’t want to make any trouble for Marissa. That’s not the point. I want to make things better, not worse.

There’s a path that leads into one of the parks. I decide that this is the perfect place for us to meet. We can step into the park, so no one will see us, and we can even walk around. I know that it says that the park is closed, but I doubt anyone is actually going to check or call us in. I’m feeling pretty pleased with myself by the time Marissa comes along.

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